Sunday, March 27, 2005

Carie-catures of love

Well, i'm obviously not an expert on love, (and i refer you to my sad track record at this point), but i sort of liked this idea. A friend of mine sent it to me, and it makes a lot of sense for past loves and relationships of all kinds. Anyway, enough of my mutterings.

When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure. But when you find a new love, you view the past as a teacher. In the game oflove, it doesn't really matter who won or who lost. What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go! You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if their happiness means that you're not part of it.
Everything happens for the best. If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love.

Love strives in hurting. If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time. Though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow. Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall. You just fall. You cannot finish a book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.

Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.

To love is to risk rejection, to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risk nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self, to love is to risk not to be loved in return. How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.

Love is like a knife. It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime. Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling. It should inspire you and give you joy and strength.

But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end. Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be. For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks, for you know, that there were the things that helped you grow.

Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way, whether it leads towards you or away from you. Love is a painful risk to take but the risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love. Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire and tear you apart.

Only love can make you cry and only love knows why. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love.

There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love because every time we do, we get hurt, then I figured that's why it's called falling in love.

Whatever happened, don't give up! It is just a trial.


LIFE IS NOT MEASURED BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE BUT BY THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY!

One of my best guy friends once told me that he was praying for my husband. I loved that and i think i'll remember it forever. The fact that somebody cares for me enough to pray about my (unknown) future is awesome!I sometimes feel scared to ask God for a husband 'cos it seems like its never going to happen! But i know God's got a plan for me and my future, and I just have to be patient. (Its really the annoying part - ask my mom - i'm really not a very patient girl!) But since then i've started praying for his wife and the spouse of other best friends and especially for my own husband - asking God to keep us both pure and make us ready for each other!

AWWW! Now i'm all soppy and romantic! Think i should go watch me some Princess Bride!

~ Car

Friday, March 25, 2005

some strategies for stress

LOL - i always forget how much i love the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy until i find some more arbitrary but wonderful quotes.

Here are some ways to survive the crazyness of life:

"'... then i decided i was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic.'
Arthur cleared his throat, and then did it agian. 'where', he said, 'did you... ?'
'find a gin and tonic?' Ford said brightly. 'I found a small lake that thought it was a gin and tonic, and jumped in and out of that. At least, I think it thought it was gin and tonic.'
'I may', he added with a grin that would have sent sane men scampering for the trees, 'have been imagining it.'

(its definatly an option for amusing yourself for a couple of weeks, but i'd lay off on the grins tho'... we all know how hard it is to find a good sane man. Besides. it might make you seem a little loopy.)

"He stood up straight and looked the world squarly in the fields and hills. To add weight to his words, he stuck the rabbit bone in his hair. He spread his arms out wide. 'I will go mad!' he announced."

well. i have no other suggestions for now. Maybe lay off the left over green beer too. I'm sure it can't be that good for you ;)

~ carie

PS: Happy Easter. I sort of feel that its not really Easter yet, seeings as i had to work today and didn't get to go to the Good Friday service. I'm going to try make mass tomorrow with Batty and Tank, so maybe i'll be able to focus a little more then.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

severed connections

hi all,
just a quick note to say i am also taking a hiatus.. although it is a forced one. No internet connection for the next two weeks means my lifeline to the online world is temporarily severed... . but hopefully life will continue as normal soon :)
In other news... what should i do with my summer? you don't know either? guess i'm hooped. Bah.
anyway, trudging onwards.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

personlity profiles

wow, this has been the blog of personality tests lately. i guess we're all really going to know our personalities well. This one is the Dr Phil test - and i have to add the disclaimer here that i pretty much hate Dr Phil) but its pretty interesting.
(Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah-she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out.
Also, Don't be overly sensitive! Take this test for yourself and see what comes up.
Answers are for who you are now...... not who you were in the past.

Ready??
Begin...

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you..
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritate
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant


POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle
with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you,wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.


51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure.They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.


41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.


31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible,cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.


21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.


UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and
indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

I worked out as a 44. What are you?

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

some pretty good quotes on life...

“Character takes years to form and a lifetime to prove”
AC Green, NBA, Dallas Mavericks

If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live." Martin Luther King.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the lord and not for men.” (Colossians 3:23).

Sunday, March 13, 2005

animal personalities

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Another one of these anoying tests. but this one i'm told is actually a genuine personality test, like Myer - Briggs. I get to be a Golden Retriever.. My favourite dog breed :) Its weirdly pretty acurate too... although i think they may go a little overboard on the praise to get you to stick around ;)



The most loyal and sensitive of friends! You will look after everyones feelings and emotions - except your own! Golden Retrievers sometimes get very hurt, especially by lions, because they let themselves be treated as door mats. You need appreciation, something the rest of us often overlook.

Golden Retriever: stand in front of a mirror and practice saying "NO!" It will help, but you probably won't feel comfortable saying it.



I sorta like how the Beaver doesn't even feature on my personality list, lol:


Beavers

Beavers are orderly, practical, and do things right. You probably make a list each day of things to do, and if you dosomething that isn't on your list, you write it on your list so that you can then cross it off! Others might find you a bit stuffy and dull, but beavers just need a bit more time and space in there relationships.


(although, i am a big fan of the lists... i even make up things i can't possibly do in the day. Maybe i just need the organization.)


     
27% Otter and 21% Lion were my other 2 animals.  Quite an interesting test.



This is going to be a nutsy week. i don't know why i'm wasting small, precious time blogging, but i am.  I need to get a giant easter egg hunt planned for friday, get my U of A forms and my Uof S interviews done for Education, pack all my stuff and move this weekend. Bah! Shoot me now. But it was a really good weekend, and (even though it was short) i got to hang out with 2 people i haven't seen in ages... so that made it brilliant! Hopefully i'll get a chance to hang out during this week somewhere.



bye for now.
carie the "i should be doing something productive".

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Any Dream WIll do

So i really like live theater. I've come to the conclusion that i can't stand listening to bands play live (unless there is somebody that i know in it or unless it is able to be background... like the bassment. I like that)but give me theatre in any form, and i'll be there. ANYHOW, some of my kids were singing songs yesterday that i recognized as being from "Joseph and the amazing technicoloured dream coat" - why do you know this you ask??? Well, lets put it this way, my mom could quote it word for word... but enough of that. I recognized the songs and asked the kids about it, and they told me they were in a school play and asked me to come watch them. I wasn't sure if i'd be able to make it, since it was at 1pm, but things worked out my way, and i got to go see it... I was so proud! I can't imagine having my own kids up there someday, its a really weird emotion being totally proud of kids that you've had no part in raising, but i felt like the hyper little granny i was sitting next to! Its devastating to me to realize that these kids need the love and affection any where they can find it. They were so surprised that i'd actually show, i really hope their parents go and see it. Its horrible, i think i'm actually getting imune to poverty. We just deal with it on a daily basis, and sometimes i don't even think about it, until situations like today when they all come sopping wet 'cos they "fell" into a puddle. The sad thing to me (maybe stupidly) is the fact that i don't think i've ever seen a matching pair of socks, and most have the hugest holes ever. Even in the middle of winter they're harly wearing anything on their feet, and most have boots that are so holey that snow gets inside right away. I darned a kid's socks one day a couple months ago, and they were literally held together by the stitches i put in them. They were hardly even socks. It just blows my mind somedays. I really hope that Joseph's story somehow hits them. A boy with nothing and more injustice than anybody deserves finally rises to the top. They weren't too clear about the God stuff, but it was there. We can only pray i guess.

anyway, i'm sure i had a thought when i began this blog, but its gone somewhere now.
I'm hoping this Murder mystery night works out tomorrow... i have no idea! I know it will be fun whatever happens, and no matter how many people show, but i really want people to get to know each other.

but i'm out for the night,
ciao

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


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I love this picture, and i thought it was so thought provoking. Picture says a thousand words right? I've been wanting to put it up for such a long time, and now that i've finally figured out how, you get to see it too.

SO'Aniversary


Image hosted by Photobucket.com WOW! Its really hard to believe that we've been here officially 5 years now. Our anniversary was on the 17th of Febuary, so i always notice that, and its a little bit harder every year as i realize that i'm forgetting my family. How is that possible? I feel like a  terrible person to be able to "forget", not in a literal way, but to have a growing sense of detatchment. Its so tragic to me since our family has always been so close, and i really love them so much. I just can't help it since they seem so far away and separate from my life at all. Ugg. life sucks sometimes.

  Talking about moving to Canada, something really weird happened today. At youth there was this guy wondering around in his 50's. He looked really familiar, so i thought i'd just bumped into him at church before. Turns out he was the guidance councellor at Murray AND the very first Canadian I ever spoke to after we moved to Canada (apart from my relatives).  We stepped off the plane at 12:30am and my mom had us in his office at Murray at 11am that day. Weird huh?

Anyway, enough ramblings for one day.
My heart goes out to all you TCK's.

~ catnip. (its my new selected internet name. thought it suited me well today ;) )

Monday, March 07, 2005

Hear our praises

We sang this song in Church yesterday, and i remembered how powerful it is for me. 5 years ago when we were moving to canada, we were singing this song in church in South Africa, and it become a song of dedication for me. I know that sounds kinda crazy for somebody coming from deep dark africa to see Canada as as place for my "light to shine in the darkness" and to make it my objective to make his "glory fill the whole earth", but i think that God EXPECTS us to see each place we go as a mission field. Anyway, its such a stunning song that i really wanted to put it up for you.

Hear Our Praises
(Reuben Morgan - Hillsongs)


May our homes be filled with dancing
May our streets be filled with joy
May injustice bow to Jesus
As the people turn to pray


From the mountain to the valley
Hear our praises rise to You
From the heavens to the nations
Hear our singing fill the air


May our light shine in the darkness
As we walk before the cross
May Your glory fill the whole earth
As the water o'er the seas


Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Saskatchewan Pirates

Its been an exciting day all around. I woke up at 12 and read my book for a while in bed... i LOVE doing that. I remember the days i used to wake up at like 7:30am on Saturday mornings and read in my bed, and try my hardest not to make any noise so my mom wouldn't make me get up and do chores.. good times. Although i STILL don't know why children are programed to wake up that early?? Crazyness. Anyway, after reading for a while, i got a chance to go flower shopping with batty for the wedding, which was really quite exciting. After that i came home and took a nap - don't mock me, flower shopping is hard work. I had a birthday party at 6pm and then night games at the church with my Jnr high girls.... ROCKIN' TIMES!! Seriously, it was so much fun. After dropping them at home, i caught up with Karla, Sarah, J and Janelle at Telemiracle. It was a surprisingly good time, even tho' pretty much all of the music was country... What can you do? I think i'd forgotten what a country place SK really is. Of course Adam Gregory helped make that all better ;) (i never heard him sing, which might ruin the illusion a little... but not a bad looking guy!) But when we left at 2:15, they had raised almost $295 010!! I've never had anything to do with Telemiracle (except for selling helping hands at the Dub) - i had never even seen it on TV before, so it was quite cool to be at the live show. Theresa also played a song she wrote a couple days ago, which was fun. Her personal style reminds me a lot of Scott's... i think it'd be an awesome combo.
This song was one of my favourites of the evening.. you gotta love the Arrogant worms :) Even if it was countrified a little by Brad Johner, hehe. It was quite amusing!

ARTIST: Arrogant Worms
TITLE: Last Saskatchewan Pirate

Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the C. P. line
But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn't there
The bankers came and took my land and told me, "Fair is fair"
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "We just let twenty go!" (Ha ha!)
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum


Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I'm gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan! (Arr!)


{Refrain:}
And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores


Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer
Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomach's are a-quiver
'Cause they know that Captain Tractor's hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge, and knock 'em cold, and sail off with their hay

{Refrain}

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He'd follow on the shoreline 'cause he didn't own a boat
But the cutbacks were a-comin' and the Mountie lost his job
So now he's sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin' sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me! (Arr!)

{Refrain}

Well, the pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here
I hear in north Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort MacKay
And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well, winter is a-comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in springtime, but now I've got to go
I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico



Moral of the story all around? Its 2:46, and i'm pretty tired, so sweet dreams.

Friday, March 04, 2005

PHILOSOPHICAL LIFE QUESTIONS.

By the way, Evan was elected USSU VP Academic Affairs, so good job to all who voted. Maybe now he can answer the questions posed in HHGTTG:

"There are many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are "why are people born?", "why do they die?", "why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?""

Seems like things that a VP of Academic affairs should know the answers to. Its a good thing that he's a VP tho'... another valuable quote to ponder from "the book":

"anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job"
(explains Bush, huh?) But its the VP's who pull the strings :)

But anyways, before i get tooooo carried away with cool quotations, i'm going to go riffle through some of the stuff i have stashed away in boxes. Honestly... i'm such a pack rat. A LOT of it HAS to go. I CANNOT move with all my junk!

later,
carie

MORE PIXIE DUST

so i decided to put another pixie on my site to keep the blonde company. Its only fair i think. So now i can marvel at how warm it is in Pietermaritzburg, while we freeze our bums off!
If you're ever looking to do some traveling, i'd recomend South Africa. Next i'd prob recomend New Zealand, although i've never been there. It seems to be the action capital of the world, targeted especially at tourists.

hope you're enjoying the sunshine!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

VOTE FOR EVAN

Vote for Pedro. I mean Evan. Vote for Evan if you're a U of S Student! He will rock as vp academic affairs. He actually wants to help you out.

my.usask.ca



you might even score yourself one of the "evan" buttons. All the cool kids have one after all.




In other news, not much has been happening around here that's new and exciting... but i am over my bronchitis, which makes me VERY happy. I passed it onto my mom tho' and now she has severe bronchitis veering towards pnemonia. OOPS> i feel REALLY bad about that.
Work is going well, i think i'm enjoying it again due to my little snowboarding hiatus. I think every thing is alot better with a hiatus. Although i quit youth officially, i have discovered that i can still keep coming mostly to Jnr high - i am able to skip without issue if i can't make it, but i'm going to come as much as i can. i really love them!! Also we're playing night games at the church on Saturday night, so that should be alot of fun. Alos we have a whole lineup of cool stuff happening at C&C - murder mystery nights, easter egg hunts, waterslides and retreats, so i'm pretty pumped about the next 2 months.

well, i'm going to go watch some american idol, so i'll love you and leave you with this great quote from HHGTTG... seems to sum up my blog pretty nicely actually :)

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind."

~ Carie