Sunday, January 22, 2006

head over feet

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

(repeat chorus)

OK: magic question... where's my bf with benifits?? Huh? Whereever you are, its time to come out of the woodwork! Anytime now!!!!!! hehe

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Exploring the inner landscape

hmm, i was reading an interesting section of a book called "The courage to teach" - obviously a uni prescribed reading for my Psych class. What Parker Palmer says is that we so thoroughly separate inner truth from outer actions that we have lost touch with ourselves. i feel that blogging is that relief of "talking to myself". Palmer says that "we need to find every possible way to listen to that voice and take its counsel seriously, not only for the sake of our work but for the sake of our own health as well. If someone in the outer world is trying to tell us something important and we ignore his or her presence, the person either gives up and stops speaking or becomes more and more violent in attempting to get our attention." (32) I think that blogging has that power in my life - and its a good reason why i feel more happy when i do some self examination.
SO: no more viewing blogging as a waste of time, but rather as important self analysis to keep me sane!!

with all that deep thinking about blogging, i have now run out of time to actually do any blogging before i am late for church.
so till later!
carie

Thursday, January 05, 2006

icy white

this is a direct cut-and-paste job from Jordan K's blog, but he expressed exactly what i feel way more poetically than i can manage. So please forgive me jordan, this is in some way a homily to you!

"I've never seen beauty like Saskatoon these last few days. It's not even foggy like the movies, it's like some of the weather from heaven drifted downward to us. The whole city's in hiding, hidden just out of sight, behind traffic lights and snow drifts and fog. Horefrost and red cloudy night skies have been creepily guiding me home for days now and I know that as soon as I begin to trust their direction, the snow will melt, or clear up, and I'll be reminded that just out of sight, stand ugly buildings made by ugly men. And behind those ugly buildings lie uglier buildings made by uglier men, who lie awake at night and puff up with pride at what a feat they've accomplished. But behind the building those buildings are behind, lie streets of gravel and wheat. Populated only by birds, and rabbits, and gophers, and farmers, and real night sky. Where stars constelate and sleep in clusters for the treetops to see. Where trees congregate and I wish I could be."

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I owe, i owe, its off to work i go.. lala la la la...

Wow - its the 4th of January already. Where has time gone? Its that miserable time of year when you once again have to say goodbye to numerous old friends, and return to the strangeness of school and catching up with all the people who you superficially spend more time with than those you're actually committed to. Don't get me wrong - being back at school is fun (sort of) - i'm just not sure i'm QUITE ready for it yet. It REALLY felt like i was working hard this morning to even play the game 2 truths and a lie. I swear, my brain was actually hurting. Its scary. Last semester already feels like years ago. I guess it WAS last year - but really.

The last bit of christmas was really fun. My Canadian family came up from Melfort for Christmas on the 28th-30th, and Nix had a really good time hanging with them. All the cousins went to go watch Narnia on the afternoon of the 29th, but it was all sold out, so we went to watch "Dreamer" instead. Its a predicatably cute horse movie, but i'll admit it, my heart was there... hehe.

The 30th was Dad's b-day, so AJ and i went to go get the cake (isn't it beautiful?) He looks a little terrified here, but i think he's just afraid the camera's gonna steal his soul. Its like having a fear of Tokoloshes. Just cos you don't believe in them doesn't mean they don't live under your bed. We also gave him a great little floaty drink tray thingie for the hot tub with checkers on the back. it was awesomes.

To end the evening off we went skating - which was really fun for them, but i had SUCKY skates that i couldn't even skate around the rink on, so i had way more fun when Karla, Nix, Indy, Greg and i went on Tuesday,and i could actually skate. We had a FANTASTIC time (apart from certain unnamed boys who kept snowballing us (the innocent girls)). Hehe... best winter's night so far! (New Year's was pretty good too, with Yuriko & Erik's wedding - wow : Another married couple!! I'm OLLLLDDDD!, hanging with Mike, Sarah, Karla & Kristie, board games, movies, all nighters and McDonalds.)

So to sum it all up: Fun holiday, doing random things, watching many movies, staying up WAY to late every night.
Now to recover and actually WANT to get back to work??? BAH!