living life (or is life living me??? )

ANNA AND EVEN ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!! That's the huge news for the week! I'm so excited for them.... but it feels like i'm suddenly in a group of almost-adults... WEIRD! (no offense anybody!) but its strange when people are moving on with life.

i realized today that we're all just big pretenders, but for the most part we're all pretty ok with that. I was playing with one of the little girls at McNab, and she was "feeding" me her playdough cookies. I pretended to eat one, and she asked if i liked it, and when i told her i did, and asked for another one, she asked me to return the first one to the plate... it's kinda funny how aware we can be of the games we play (even at 6 years old) and still get completely lost in the fantasy. I like life that way i think! I sort of feel sad that i can't completely lose myself in playing games like i did 10 years ago... remember when you could play barbie or my-little- pony for like 3 hours without getting bored? But going back to my earlier point of getting lost in fantasy, i think we get better at self-delusion as we get older, even tho' we forget how to just be in the moment.
For instance: i decided that i would like working at A&W again, and for the most part, i'm doing pretty well at it. Then you get days like today when the delusion bubble pops. Anything that could possibly spill, break, make a mess, fall apart or otherwise just not do what it was meant to do did it today. Then some stupid IDIOT boy/man/IDIOT crapped all over the men's room. NOT a good way to start the day. At this point i came to the conclusion that i hate my life and i want to go bury myself in a blanket burrow in my bed and not come out for like 3 weeks. And just when you think life can't get any worse, suddenly salvation arrives in the form of some little kid who can't go home until they've hugged you goodbye, or a friend who just opens their arms and hugs you without even saying a word (thanks phil). i guess God understands me a little better than i assume some days. And at least they end at bed time.

But my brain has just stalled, and i might fall asleep on my keyboard if i don't get to bed right now. so: Carpe diem. Its all you can do really.

in his grip,
car