At the end of the day

SO i was blown away this afternoon by grace. I have to admit, that in some small way i'm actually getting sick of the concept of grace. Not the practical effects of grace of course... i mean who can have something done for them at great sacrifice but at no cost and reject it coldly? I can i guess. In my humble oppinion, sacrifice is a very abstract concept for us as fortunate people. I know very little about sacrificing EVERYTHING for somebody else, hell - i know very little about sacrificing ANYTHING for somebody else. Realistically - my $25 shoe box for some little kid in africa somewhere really didn't hurt me that much. And honestly, i felt really good after doing it, so who really benifitted? But beyond all that, the concept of grace is something that we talk about all the time in church, and i can understand the meaning of it, and see Christ's sacrifice as pure grace, but i guess sometimes i need pictures to remind me and smash it into my heart and head.
I went to see Les Miz with my mom this afternoon, and once again saw the picture of grace and the possibility of limitless grace. If you don't know the story, Jean Valjean is a prisoner who finally recieves his parole and is taken in for the night by a bishop who feels sorry for the starving man. In return Jean Valjean steals some of the bishop's silver and runs away, only to be caught by the police:


VALJEAN ARRESTED, VALJEAN FORGIVEN


CONSTABLE ONE
Tell his reverence your story

CONSTABLE TWO
Let us see if he's impressed

CONSTABLE ONE
You were lodging here last night

CONSTABLE TWO
You were the honest Bishop's guest.

CONSTABLE ONE
And then, out of Christian goodness

CONSTABLE TWO
When he learned about your plight

CONSTABLE ONE
You maintain he made a present of this silver.

BISHOP
That is right.
But my friend you left so early
Surely something slipped your mind

(The bishop gives Valjean two silver candlesticks)

You forgot I gave these also
Would you leave the best behind?
So, Messieurs, you may release him
For this man has spoken true
I commend you for your duty
And God's blessing go with you.

(Constables leave. The bishop addresses Valjean)

But remember this, my brother
See in this some higher plan
You must use this precious silver
To become an honest man
By the witness of the martyrs
By the Passion and the Blood
God has raised you out of darkness
I have bought your soul for God!

WHAT HAVE I DONE (VALJEAN'S SOLILOQUY)

VALJEAN
What have I done?
Sweet Jesus, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night,
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far,
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?

If there's another way to go
I missed it twenty long years ago
My life was a war that could never be won
They gave me a number and murdered Valjean
When they chained me and left me for dead
Just for stealing a mouthful of bread

Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for God above
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me

Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!

One word from him and I'd be back
Beneath the lash, upon the rack
Instead he offers me my freedom
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall
And the night is closing in
And I stare into the void
To the whirlpool of my sin
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Another story must begin!


As he makes a life for himself, he uses the silver to become a factory owner and the mayor of his town, and becomes willing to sacrifice his life in saving an innocent man, taking care of an orphan girl and later in laying down his life for the man she loves. Grace is such an unlimited gift and does not stop with one person but has the potential to affect countless others.
Ironically, not 15 minutes later, as i was driving home in the car with my mom, i was complaining to her about something somebody wants me to do - make friends with a girl i don't know and make her feel welcome and part of the church and christ's body. I was telling my mom about how inconvenient it is, how little time i have and how i'm happy with my friends and can barely keep up with them as it is, and then i started to think about the irony of my tears in the scene above. I (who hardly ever cries) was crying through this play as i witnessed what grace means, but yet i'm hardly willing to extend it to somebody else who requires a far lesser "sacrifice" (if you can even call it that) from me.

I guess this all sort of ties in with what Lynda (from the bridge) and Serge LeClerk from Prairie Hope were saying on Thursday night: people don't really care about what you have, but love and time make all the difference.

ANYHOO
enough sentimentality from me for one evening i think.


last word from "the poor:"

At the end of the day you're another day older
And that's all you can say for the life of the poor
It's a struggle, it's a war
And there's nothing that anyone's giving
One more day standing about, what is it for?
One day less to be living.

At the end of the day you're another day colder
And the shirt on your back doesn't keep out the chill
And the righteous hurry past
They don't hear the little ones crying
And the winter is coming on fast, ready to kill
One day nearer to dying!

At the end of the day there's another day dawning
And the sun in the morning is waiting to rise
Like the waves crash on the sand
Like a storm that'll break any second
There's a hunger in the land
There's a reckoning still to be reckoned and
There's gonna be hell to pay
At the end of the day!


love,
car