Wednesday, December 29, 2004

something or other corporate

Its my favourite Something Corporate song, and according to the something corporate fanatics (*fans*... ever wonder where that word came from??) out there, also who i am... don't know about that, but i can definately identify!

According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...



"Babies Of The 80's"

I grew up on five-alive
And transformers and slip-n-slide
Toy's R Us and Chuck-e-Cheeze
Disco out and techno in
to synthesize my favorite sin
And here I am on my knees
To get it back again

Babies of the 80's
Little girls in lycra shorts
Tented beds, nerf contact sports
My babies of the 80's
Shout it out just one more time
For the generation that was all mine

We learned to crawl on linoleum floors
Ronald Reagan fought Star Wars
But he'll never be Han Solo
Students march Tianenmen Square
They took him out hey that's not fair
Dad said it's good to be free
As we watched from our T.V.

Babies of the 80's
Little girls in lycra shorts
Tented beds, nerf contact sports
My babies of the 80's
Shout it out just one more time
For the generation that was all mine

We watched the wall fall down
Woke up early for Bozo the clown
MTV and Nick at Night
And I slept for the first time
Without the light
without the light
without the light

(one two one two three go)

My Babies of the 80's
Little girls in jelly shoes
got the ferris bueller blues
My babies of the 80's
We'd be something after all
Who knew we would be something after all
Who knew we would be something after all
Who Knew


hmmm... now the experts are disagreeing.... REALLY! these online quiz thingies are quite addictive!!!!!!!!!!!!


Take the test, by Emily.

Monday, December 27, 2004

soafrican life

trippy. they're so true they're funny! ons is lief vir jou Suid Afrika.





You Know You're From South Africa when...


You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.

To alleviate congestion in post office queues, they bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards.

You are expected to carry a drivers licence that doesn't fit into your wallet.

The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.

The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.

People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to get up and make it themselves.

A minibus taxi overtakes you, just to stop right in front of you.

When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.

You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.

Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.

You have to prove you don't need a loan to get one.

A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.

You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.

Ruwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.

The police ask you if they should follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.

When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are seperated by a Xhosa anouncement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad.

The government has more opposition from themselves, than from any opposition party.

A minister is fired, and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the G-number-plated BMW.

A 45 year old engineer is replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.

The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.

Half the city pays for the other halve's electricity and water supply.

A murderer gets a 2 year sentence, and a pirate M-Net viewer a 6 month sentence.

Crime actually DOES pay.

The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.

The government GIVES you a house, and you complain.

You can't even go on a business trip to Oz (or Canada) without somebody asking knowingly, "Oh, having a look around, are you? ..."

You attempt to get onto a freeway via an on-ramp and the guy approaching on the freeway deliberately speeds up to prevent you merging smoothly with the traffic.

There is more space between the sole of your foot and the accelerator pedal than between your rear bumper and the car behind you.

People would rather drive a flashy car with HUGE repayments and MASSIVE insurance than live in a decent house.

The post office stores letters instead of delivering them.

An employer has to pay his employees wages during a strike and cannot lock them out.

Cops are always able to spot you for parking without display while never able to see the minibus taxis parking in the middle of the road.

SABC 3 is SABC 2 after 18:30, only in KwaZulu-Natal, except on the weekend.

Petrol takes the biggest price jump in history, the banks increase their interest rates by two percent, and the Rand's value dives by 25%, but we are told that "we have just had the lowest inflation rate increase in 24 years".

You go to prison for murder, and instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms.

Pre-election promises change into "Rome wasn't built in a day".

The Minister of Housing didn't build a single house.

The Minister of Finance doesn't wear a tie.

You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.

You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume".

You stop at robots, not traffic lights.

You've never seen live theatre, but you've heard of it.

You only drink instant coffee and in fact have no clue why anyone would bother drinking anything else.

You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.

None of the programs on the five available TV channels run on time.

You think a car's hazard lights mean, "F*** you, I'm stopping here."

Your standard response to any statement is, "Is it?" (Pronounced, "Izzit?")

You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them. [yup! ct]

You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.

You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously.

The electricity goes off and you see it as a sign of The Collapse of Civilization (tm).

The electricity comes back on, and you check to see if there are any soccer or cricket games on TV - why else would ESCOM have fixed the electricity so quickly?

"Armed Response" is not an action, it's a description of every security company in the country.

You actually bought baked beans in 1994 before the elections.

You feel it is your democratic duty to vote.

You have a gear lock for your car.

You come out of a friend's house/shopping centre/office to find the gear lock worked and your car is still there, but your radio, tapes, jersey and every other removable thing you had in the car is gone, and you just sigh, shrug and go home.

You gawk at American tourists. They're so rare.

Someone mentions the sea, and your first thought is "Durban" although you wouldn't actually go there.

You've been up Table Mountain.

You've been to the Kruger National Park, but only as a child when your school arranged a tour.

You've never seen snow in real life.

You know what 'water restrictions' are.

Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanoes are only known to you through disaster movies, but you're intimately acquainted with floods and droughts.

You go to a shopping mall and have to keep detouring around people who stop dead in the middle of the aisle when something catches their interest.

You go to a New Year street party in Hillbrow and wake up in hospital.

You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State.

You shout "Vrystaat!" at rugby games, local or international, even when Vrystaat (the Free State) isn't playing.

You think that the people who paint their faces the colour of the SA flag look really cool. You still rub people's noses in the fact that we won the 1995 Rugby World Cup.

The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Africa.





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Sunday, December 26, 2004

christmas cheer

so i think i'm a little with mikos on this one... i'm wierdly depressed about nothing. Seriously - this should be the most joyful time of year for all who celebrate the life (and death) of our Lord, but for some reason, i just haven't been able to shake my bad attitude. I mean its not that i hate the commercialization of christmas - i don't enjoy it, but whatever, i understand commerce. Its not that i don't like the christmas spirit of cheer and good will, etc - i mean who wouldn't enjoy nice people?? (esp those of us who get stuck in minimum wage customer service jobs). Its not even that i dislike the shopping and present buying and christmas parties, etc - i actually have a lot of fun trying to find the perfect thing for somebody, and usually have a blast making little things to give to people. But out of the blue this season, the thought of christmas has just made me inexplicably angry (hmmm... not quite the right word... troubled maybe??) and sort of sad.
I think what it may be is my former conclusion coming back to haunt me: suddenly all the busyness is gone, and i have time to be meditative, consider my life and friendships and relationships, and be lonely for some people. I hate that its weird and hard to talk to family i love with all my heart who are a whole world away. I hate that i can't figure out where my beloved little 12yr old cousin is at, when he has been "my" baby since the day he was born. I hate standing by and watching friendships fall apart and not know what to do about it. But i hate even more that i'm a big baby who's too scared to make a move.
My dad called me a workaholic today, and it might actually be fitting... i found myself trying to do at least one thing along with watching movies with my fam today... and i kept getting up and pacing - completely antsy - and obsessing about friends and people i hardly even know. Its prob a bad sign that by day 2 of a 4 day weekend, i'm worrying about work, thinking about the people there and planning the work week ahead.

i realize that this is all prob more than you wanted to read about me, and you prob think i'm a big suck and horrible joyless person, but there it is. Isn't it funny... i thought that my anger and sadness was "inexplicable", and then went on to discuss and explain... hmmm, maybe i should write out more of my little life conundrums...

REGARDLESS of the above regurgitation of woe, it has been great spending time with my parents and my sister... time is precious - somedays it feels like we're on a limited time deal. It was also really good to catch up with some far away friends and visit with those i see but never get to talk to.
I still believe that life is formed by the people in your life - its up to us to take what we can out of each situation, but God has put some awesome people in our way.

but i should sleep.
peace.

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."
- C. S. Lewis

Friday, December 24, 2004

DYNAMITE IN A SMALL MOVIE

Just a quick note... if you're looking for something quirky and quite funny to watch, i recomend Napoleon Dynamite. FUNNY movie.
I'm REALLY tired, and am planning to relish every moment i spend in bed tomorrow :)
so i'm going to head there now, and to all a good night.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end

[i heard this song today, and i was going to write something deep and profound about it, but i think i might just leave it as is.]

I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, climb the mountains
Just to share your story, bring you glory, and win souls for you.
I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor, lost, and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every sunday, lead the choir and Bible study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end-

Songs will fade to silence,
Stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve you,
Won’t you make it clear to me,
If I do not love, I am nothing.

If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the one who lived his life for me?

Sent to earth from heaven,
Humble servant, holy king,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I’d deny you, crucify you, but nothing could stop you from
Living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

Songs will fade to silence,
Stories will cease,
The dust will settle covering these selfless deeds.
But your life here has made it clear enough for me to see
That if I do not love, I am nothing



I AM NOTHING : Words and music by ginny owens: bmg songs, inc. (gospel division)/above the
Rim music (administered by bmg songs, inc.) (ascap)

Saturday, December 18, 2004

young for a moment

Five For Fighting - 100 Years

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I don't know what it is about this song that i find so powerful and tragic, except that i think we wish ourselves away as we wish time forward. Ever said to yourself "i wish this was over" or "i can't wait till the end of this day/week/semester/year"? I definately have, and its terrible. In grade 11, i had a picture stuck onto the front cover of my dayplanner/diary with the words "carpe diem" on it, and i decided then that i would live by that rule, but alas... i have fallen into apathy and barely even make a move to mark each day as it flies by.
I guess what made me meander down this particular philosophical path was a discussion that i was having with my kids at McNab tonight. One, a 13yr old girl, was debating whether she should go out and get smashed or stay at the center and decorate cookies with the other kids. It was such a startling contrast to me that i was quite staggered. She's so determined to grow up and follow her father in his alcoholism that i sometimes forget that she's just a little girl who really wants to help make and decorate cookies. (now before we get all defensive and scary and accusatory, please note that i am not against drinking at all. in fact, i quite like it. BUT, when i look at the lives these kids live, mostly as a result of their parent's addictions to alcohol and other less legal substances, i have a hard time justifying it. I have an impossible time justifying it when my little kids are getting involved with it too.)

I felt quite silly talking to these 10 - 13 year olds about why alcohol is dumb because it makes you do stupid things and makes you vulnerable, when they started talking about their moms and dads who hit each other and chase the kids or give away their money or "forget" to pay for the phone or the power.
These same little kids, - my little 9 year old boys who come everyday to tell me about their day, or to give me a hug, or to colour pictures with me, are explaining to me about what sex bracelets mean (pretty graphic really... makes you re-evaluate fashion) and spend hours of their day on chatlines with whoever and whatever perverts are online. It really scares me and makes me want to cry. These little children are growing up in front of me, and i can see them becoming hardened and streetwise and vicious by the day, and i can't do anything to stop it. Except pray for them. I don't know how to stand in the gap for them when they can't even see the problem. They're so smart and talented and quick to catch on to things, and it breaks my heart that the kids with major ambition want to be bartenders and waitresses for the rest of their lives, and are considering dropping out of school before they're 15.

I am very blessed.

night.
~carie

Monday, December 13, 2004

christmas carols

i have to say, being out of school at this time of year is an interesting experience. I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself at in the pre-christmas season. Usually by now i'd have bought or made all of my christmas pressies (as a part of my studying exercizes... ;)) but this year i'm pretty far behind in the whole christmas swing. On the other hand, i feel strangely prepared for christmas on a spiritual level. Often i don't feel like i can put much more into christmas than present buying, since i'm trying to stuff as much useless information into my head as possible, but i've been able to sit back and contemplate a little more this year, and spend a little more time being irritated by annoying, meaningless christmas songs. Its tragic to me that such a momentous event as our saviour's birth is celebrated by such odd frivolity. I liked Rachel's post about the fact that christmas is actually an R-rated event. There is sex, fear, terror, bloodshed and many other things that make it so much more than the tinsle and glitter.

To completely change direction (i went away and came back...), i got stuck looking at camp pics just now, and am realizing that i've gone the distance from camp... i'm now truly sentimental and everything is falling into the rosy catagory :) If i have to pick an attribute about myself that i like, i think it may be that: somehow I manage to put anything negative really far away, and i have this (admittedly very distorted) happy picture of the way things were. Not that camp was unhappy, you have to understand, it just wasn't all smiles and roses. The pics i was looking at seem to have come from centuries ago already and when i look at them i get all smiley and teary eyed (don't ask me why...?) but i guess its those (now!) carefree days of summer. Its exciting to me that it doesn't end at camp - that i still get to hang with these guys at church and around the city, but its still hard to not get nostalgic about the easyness of friendships and life in the middle of nowhere SK.

Well, seeings as its only 10:50, i think i may go and actually do something about those unmade christmas pressies!

jer 29:11
"for i know the plans i have for you" says the lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

ct

Thursday, December 09, 2004

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker

Life is strange - so many things coming and going and changing within minutes and hours and other things continuing forever. Tomorrow is my 6 week anniversary at A&W. Hard to believe. Feels like its been FOREVER already. I think for my sanity's sake, I need to cut down a couple of days. Honestly, I feel like I’m getting dumber by the day. Fortunately, there is life to keep me occupied. I think after a 4 month absence (in spirit - my body's been kickin' around.) I have decided to throw myself back into C&C. I haven't had time or energy to put anything into it this year, and I think I was just sick of the idea of continuing as camp director for my peers. I don't want to be making up games and stuff like that to entertain people - that's not real at all, and I don't want to be that superficial. But it seems hard to extricate yourself from an image. I think I’ve finally succeeded this year - much to the dismay of most who lament the loss of social activities, etc. Well, they'll come back in Jan and we'll see what happens I guess.

OK - I know I’m rambling cos my eyes are watering and my brain is demanding that I give it some sleep....

I love poetry, but I almost can't handle it because it is so personal. I feel like I’m peering into the person's soul, which always makes reading the poetry of people feel kind of intimate, and quite strange for a public place. But I love it... maybe that's why I love quotes so much - they're sort of personal but distanced. I think I’m just too much of a chicken to ever put any of my own work up, but I’ll leave you with this amazing stanza. (can you tell that I like TS Elliot yet? Esp this poem... its about a guy who falls in love with his friend but can't tell her....)

"Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid. "

The Love Song Of J Alfred Prufrock - TS ELLIOT

so.. later.
Carie

Sunday, December 05, 2004

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind."

i have to confess: i am pig headed and very stuborn, but on the plus side, at least i can admit it. (on paper... saying it is a little harder, as it clashes a little more with the pigheaded side of the personality). ANYWAYS... Batgirl tried to MAKE me read Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy for about the first 3 years that we knew each other, and i refused on the grounds that she hates everything i read and refuses to read it. Finally one day we agreed to swap best for best, and i was introduced to the world of Douglas Adam while she was plunged into the marvels of Pride and Prejudice. I have to say at this point, i don't know why i gave her that instead of Wuthering Heights, which has been a clear 19C favourite for a good 8 years, but it seemed conventional. Long and short of the story, i can pretty much quote HHGTTG, and she made it to half way through chapter 2, and part of the way through ch 1 on tape. Ah well.

Regardless, i thought that this seemed like a good time to take an optimistic spin on life as the crazyiness of december hits.

"What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer." (HHGTTG)

all my love,
Car

Thursday, December 02, 2004

thin threads

do you ever feel like every where you turn, there is just one more thing waiting for your attention?? Its like being at school the week before finals, knowing that the axe is hanging over your head and that you should be doing something about it (rather quickly) but there are just too many other minor emergencies to deal with. For me, this feeling of desparation also comes with a complete emotional set of apathy. I panic about it, but don't do anything and just hope it goes away. Of course it doesn't and i start to feel like a little kid who really needs my mom. Its funny : i understand this perpetual cycle, but feel like i'm too spun out to do anything about it. maybe i just need to go to bed.

In the words of the esteemed douglas adams: "'This must be thursday,' said arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, 'i never could get the hang of Thursdays." (HHGTHG)

later,
ct