Life is strange - so many things coming and going and changing within minutes and hours and other things continuing forever. Tomorrow is my 6 week anniversary at A&W. Hard to believe. Feels like its been FOREVER already. I think for my sanity's sake, I need to cut down a couple of days. Honestly, I feel like I’m getting dumber by the day. Fortunately, there is life to keep me occupied. I think after a 4 month absence (in spirit - my body's been kickin' around.) I have decided to throw myself back into C&C. I haven't had time or energy to put anything into it this year, and I think I was just sick of the idea of continuing as camp director for my peers. I don't want to be making up games and stuff like that to entertain people - that's not real at all, and I don't want to be that superficial. But it seems hard to extricate yourself from an image. I think I’ve finally succeeded this year - much to the dismay of most who lament the loss of social activities, etc. Well, they'll come back in Jan and we'll see what happens I guess.
OK - I know I’m rambling cos my eyes are watering and my brain is demanding that I give it some sleep....
I love poetry, but I almost can't handle it because it is so personal. I feel like I’m peering into the person's soul, which always makes reading the poetry of people feel kind of intimate, and quite strange for a public place. But I love it... maybe that's why I love quotes so much - they're sort of personal but distanced. I think I’m just too much of a chicken to ever put any of my own work up, but I’ll leave you with this amazing stanza. (can you tell that I like TS Elliot yet? Esp this poem... its about a guy who falls in love with his friend but can't tell her....)
"Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid. "
The Love Song Of J Alfred Prufrock - TS ELLIOT
so.. later.
Carie
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2 comments:
it strikes me as odd that i've never read any of your work. mostly, i asked once - i think - but it's not something that one wants to push... just know that i'm always interested, just not ever going to ask...
... oscar wilde said "all bad poetry is sincere"...
sometimes i feel as though, if this were true, i am sometimes the sincerest of all poets. =)
mr wilde had such a talent for making things more sublime...
well camp director CT... i hope that everything goes well in the next few weeks. six weeks at the dub isn't really that bad... it says nothing of you except that you're determined, patient and humble... which anyone that knows you already knows.
rather, it says a lot more for the opportunity available in this city. which, likely, most people also are duelly aware of.
i love elliot:
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
who are you???
Bah! Curiousity always kills the caricature ;)
But thanks for the really sweet comments - you made my afternoon!
~c
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