yay, women heroines

"But history, real solemn history, I cannot be interested in... I read it a little as a duty, but it tells me nothing that does not either vex or weary me. The quarrels of popes and kings, with wars or pestilences, in every page; the men all so good for nothing, and hardly any women at all -- it is very tiresome" -- Catherine Morland in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey (1817)

"It is difficult to imagine or to underestimate the price many of these women paid in the currency of loneliness, self-doubt, ridicule, and insult. They were often considered to be in flagrant violation of the laws, written and unwritten, of God and man. Many were jailed for their beliefs and activities. They were seen to be violating the natural order, the way "everyone" knew things were supposed to be. They persevered against odds that should have been overwhelming--and they triumphed. "
--Phyllis J. Read and Bernard L. Witlieb in The Book of Women's Firsts

ANGELS AND DEMONS

I think my kids are trying to remind me that they're not little angels... in fact, they're little holy terrors! SERIOUSLY! Some days i come home ABSOLUTELY sure that i NEVER EVER EVER EVER want to have children! Yesterday and today are good examples!

Yesterday they were running around like maniacs and just DYING to start a fight. I stopped one strangulation, and next thing is a bunch of bigger boys looking to beat one little "shit stirrer". Then i'm suddenly dealing with half the community!
Or today, when one little kid freaked out when he wasn't allowed to destroy somebody else's artwork... he was crying, then screaming and yelling. Eventually we told him that he had to go home and he started screaming "i don't want to go home" over and over and hanging onto the door frame. We finally put his shoes on for him and deposited him on our doorstop where he continued to stand and scream. UGGG> its so hard to deal with a kid being that upset, but there's no other way to calm him down. I don't think i can explain to you quite how emotionally painful it is.
Otherdays (like tonight) one little kid is just so desparate to have me stay that he won't get off my lap, even though he normally won't stand to be touched. He's the toughest little 6 year old i've ever seen, who just really wants to be loved. He spent about an hour and a bit working on paper mache with me. What 6 year old boy do you know that will do that? i dunno. and he just really wanted to be hugged before home time. I stayed an entire hour after work with him, just because he seemed to really need it.

I love them. I really do. i can't imagine not being part of their lives, and not having them as part of mine. But somedays i'm pretty sure that i have no need for any sort of contraception. (not that that's a problem, fear not!)The desire for sex is pretty strongly out-weighed by the fear of producing kids!!! Motherhood seems like the scariest thing that any person can possibly take on. Especially alone. i can't tell you how high my regard for single mothers is. what a huge job.
And i get to try and "mould these young lives" (somehow ???) by teaching them for the rest of forever.... huh. career change anybody !?!? Kidding, but that's a huge responsibility in itself. I hope i'm up to it.

anyway - its been a long day, so i should pack it in.

Carie

Putting the beach in a jar

I realize that i created my "quote board" for this purpose, but since this is a larger quote, and one that i found in about February, when it was REALLY meaningful to me. I still really appreciate it, and in fact it was stuck to my mirror (before it fell off the wall and shattered. Here we go with the bad luck...) The book is by James Peterson. I'm a horrible B.A. and didn't even write down the title or pg number, but here it is:

"Living life is like putting the beach into a jar. The point isn't to fit everything it; it is to attend to the most important things first - the big beautiful rocks, the most valuable people and experiences - and fit the lesser things in around them. Otherwise the best things might get left out."

*and before you go on a bandwagon about the "most valuable" people, STOP. You know what he means. Don't over analyze!

gotta teach a lesson in front of the camera tomorrow.. uggg!
better go find something to wear.
love!

Falling

MAN - i love fall. Its gorgeous, but so fleeting. I wish i could capture every element of the colours, brief warm winds, sound or leaves rustling or crunching, smell and beauty of the sunset hitting those leaves and making a golden glow. its hard to describe.

This is the physics building, and tho i admittedly shudder when considering spending time in that dreary building, it is most definatly stunning from the outside, especially with that kind of frame.

McNab is going really well. I have really appreciated being back with the kids, and am SO impressed with Annette, the new director person. She is fantastic, and has already found so many sponsers and donations, and has some terrific ideas. I think she is going to be a huge plus for the kids. It would just be so much easier if we could find (even 1) quality person to come work with us everyday - it makes the program a lot less crowd control and a lot more relational. Its funny - looking back over last year, i realize that i am an idealist, who manages to disguise all the bad in the good. I forgot about all the angry, abusive families; FAS; and the kids'desparation to be loved... It doesn't make working there bad - in fact, i feel like i'm actually doing something worthwhile - but it does break my heart. somehow in the chaos of everyday i find myself loving them and really worrying about them, even while i'm being stern with them for hitting each other or whatever. it totally gives me new respect for foster parents. It must be so hard to love your kids so much and then have them leave you. I don't know how they do it.

anyway - i should get to work.
Carie

Rough day?

You know you've had a rough day when...

 

ALL GOD'S CHILDREN

It’s the song of the redeemed
Rising from the African plain
It’s the song of the forgiven
Drowning out the Amazon rain
The song of Asian believers
Filled with God’s holy fire
It’s every tribe, every tongue, every nation
A love song born of a grateful choir

It’s all God’s children singing
Glory, glory, hallelujah
He reigns, He reigns
It’s all God’s children singing
Glory, glory, hallelujah
He reigns, He reigns

Let it rise about the four winds
Caught up in the heavenly sound
Let praises echo from the towers of cathedrals
To the faithful gathered underground
Of all the songs sung from the dawn of creation
Some were meant to persist
Of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples
None rings truer than this

And all the powers of darkness
Tremble at what they’ve just heard
‘Cause all the powers of darkness
Can’t drown out a single word

When all God’s children sing out
Glory, glory, hallelujah
He reigns, He reigns
All God’s people singing
Glory, glory, hallelujah
He reigns, He reigns

QUOTATION

WOW! Today is my 110th post. I missed my 100th birthday by mistake - ah well. happy birthday blog. I decided to count, since Beth's blog turned 22, and it seems like i've been doing this forever. I have - i'm just a very inconsistant poster :)
I was thinking back to the beginning of blogging, and realized that my intent from the beginning was to post a great quote after every post. Clearly this hasn't happened, so i decided to put up a quote board. This is for the literary wonders out there, and also for the less published, but still funny everyday quotes. So if you have something to add - go hard!

have fantastically brilliant day. (it is friday you know!)
love!
Carie

check lists

YAY! ASSIGNMENT DONE > Check
bath and early bedtime > Check!

nighty night!

THANKSGIVING DINNER? THAT'S KABLAMO!

As you may have guessed, i'm supposed to be doing homework right now. instead i decided to make up a picture collage of my life. Granted, its not my WHOLE life, although it sure feels like it... esp the girl juggling her computer, cell phone and stupid term paper. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Why is it taking me so long to do this stupid assignment ???

This is Thorvoldson: it actually looks a lot like that today. Kinda windy but still nice Gothic power to it. Its always so dark and creepy inside. I love it! And those are peole coming and going  - it looked like that about 2 days ago... amazing... the wind came last night and today - and now all the leaves are suddenly gone. Winter is on the way (CHOKE CHOKE)

 And this is my home sweet home in Saskatoon... middle of nowhere! But at least we get to be in the middle. If we're going to be somewhere. Middles are important right???

ANYWAYS, i should get back to the wonderfully exciting world of curriculum analysis before i go for supper at the 'rents. THAT'S KABLAMO!

later.
C

Growing up!

I'm almost a real grown up! I bought my own freezer today!! It is only 5.5 cubic feet (which means i can pick her up and carry her by myself, if that gives you some idea of her size) but i'm happy :)  Isn't she pretty? I need to come up with a good name for her! Now i can actually make and eat real meals on the limited time frame that i have.. yay yay yay. laziness right here!  i'm so excited. I may have to beat my roomates off with a stick, but hey.

anyway - its my sister's birthday today, so i need to go find her  a nice prezzie, then go set up her birthday meal / party (its really only  my family - does that count as a party??)

later!
Carie