caricatures of life

I do still exist! Online at least!

2009-12-29T17:03:00.002-06:00

Man, it sure has been a while. I am glad to report that this post is not born out of sheer pain and suffering, as is often the trend with my blogging, but is instead born out of desire to avoid marking :)

I was going through boxes of papers and books that I have collected over the years and I was thinking of all the people who i have spent so many random hours with, building programs, reading books and formulating new ideas. I feel sad that I have let those people somehow dissapear from my life, and I think that I need to start making a concerted effort to retrieve those people. Its not that I like them any less, but it is a concern that it will be "awkward" or that I will not know how to behave. This calls for some determination on my part to get over that, but is life meant to be lived in a series of moments? Or are we meant to hang on (come hell or high water) to what we have cherished? Or are we simply meant to live in the glow of what was a happy day at some point and let it go at that? I'm not sure. But I am going to try pick up on lost moments every now and again... what is the worst that could happen?? Disillusionment? I could probably recover.

2009-02-05T19:03:00.002-06:00

Somebody sent me this song.. I think its beautiful. Its official. A new chapter in my life has began sans IDS. I know i have moved on because I am truly fine. In fact I am even happy. Didn't know if that would ever happen, as i hid under my blankets...but it has.
Here's to a future going in a direction i hadn't anticipated.

LAMB - GORECKI

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still in my heart this moment
Or it might burst
Could we stay right here
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning
Wanna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one Ive waited for

All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
Wanna stay right here
til the end of time till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

Wanna stay right here
til the end of time till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

It ends tonight.

2008-07-21T23:04:00.002-06:00

Music Video:IT ENDS TONIGHT (by The All-American Rejects)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

- "it ends tonight" The All-American Rejects

2008-06-06T23:17:00.003-06:00

Wow, life is crazy and circular. Here I am almost 1 year after my last post, and my life is ironically the same! The post below, entitled "WeaknessRus" is right where i am all over again. I have to say though, as much as life seems to be where i left you last, it has been a great year, and i have no regrets. I guess i should say that i am here in the same spot emotionally, but in the mean time, i have become a grown up!

This is my year in review:
1. graduated from Education with a distinction!
2. worked for the City in playgrounds
3. went to Rochelle and Ander's wedding
4. moved in with Leah
5. Got back together with Indy
6. Subbed for 3 days in a k-6 classroom
7. Subbed the next 8 months in a 7-12 classroom (talk about shift in tactics!)
8. moved to Eston
9. moved out of Leah's house and back in with parents
10. Bribed AJ to come join me in Eston
11. Signed a permanant contract for elementary school for 2008-09
12. Bought a house!
13. Broke up with Indy
14. Hired to work for the City again for the summer

So, we'll see what exciting new things this year brings. Hopefully the posting will be a little more regular with my very own internet in my very own home :)

happy Canada Day

2007-07-02T01:12:00.000-06:00

This has been such a good relaxing weekend - went swimming on Friday night with Anna, Evan and Vangie, and then watched a ridiculous girl movie (sans Evan.) Saturday was sleep in until 1pm! (yay for days when you thought you had to work but didn't!!!) then errands and Ruckers for some good ol' beat that crocodile fun! Although the lemon tried to bite her, anna's lemon marangue pie was something to marvel over. Came back home for a fire, but the mozzies were out to get us, so chilled inside and just chatted with Anna & J. J& I decided to check out the Flying J - big mistake on my part... the burger was YUMMY... but i came home at 3am WIDE AWAKE. So i watched "Water" - possible the best foreign film i have seen (other than "Life is beautiful" and "Amelie")... it is amazing and sad and beautiful all at the same time.
the 5am bedtime didn't bode so well for work this morning... but hey - a bit of caffeine and we're set. It really wasn't that busy anyway.
This evening was the Bezopalooza... surprisingly quite fun! I had a really good evening catching up with a variety of people i havent' seen in forever. surprising how your world can somehow shrink until you can't see anybody but the people in your immediate vacinity, until one day you surface and realize that everybody else is still there, its just a matter of focussing the vision finder.
Anyway, now that i'm worked, fed and fireworked, it is 1:21 and i am ready for bed.. got to be fresh for my big first day tomorrow at the park!

till later,
C

I'd never even heard of these guys, but i caught this song on the radio and liked it...

Music Video:SECOND CHANCE (by Faber Drive)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

weakness r us

2007-06-16T23:48:00.000-06:00

weak in the knees
serena ryder

Would you mind if I pretended we were somewhere else
doin' somethin' we wanted to
cause all this livin' makes me want do is die
cause i can't live with you
you don't even care

Would you mind if I pretended
I was someone else
with courage in love and war
I used to think thats what I was
but now this lying hurts too much
and I don't know what for

I'm weak in the knees for you
but I'll stand if you want me to
my legs are strong and I'll move on
but hunny i'm weak in the knees

Would you mind if I walked over
and I kissed your face
infront of all of your friends
would you mind if i got drunk and said,
"I wanna take you home to bed"
oh would you change your mind?

I'm weak in the knees for you
but I'll stand if you want me to
my legs are strong and I'll move on
but hunny I'm weak in the knees
for you

Leave The Pieces
Jennifer Hanson & Billy Austin

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair you know
To just keep me hangin' 'round

You say you don't wanna hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

You can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you've left for me
I can clean it up you see
Just as long as you're gone

You not making up your mind
Is killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

© 2005 Sony Music Publishing / Warner Chappell

why do all good things come to an end?

2007-06-06T01:24:00.000-06:00

Music Video:ALL GOOD THINGS (by Nelly Furtado)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

so i guess i'm not that good at breaking up. in fact i think i suck at it. i'm like a freaking wet sponge. life is so complicated. i wish i could escape while not letting anything go. how does that work??? and how long does this take? Its been 7 weeks already. Having said all that, i'm too stupid and stuborn to pack up and leave for a while. my best friend is more precious than anything and i can't let that fall apart. ug. life sucks somedays.

i'm fine. really.

more random stuff about me...

2007-04-30T09:30:00.000-06:00

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
nope - share my mom's name is my second name tho'.. my mom wanted to name me lorrie if i was a boy.. my dad objected. So its a good thing i was a girl - who knows WHAT i'd have been called other wise!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
7 hours ago

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes – it was better in high school.. damn computer has ruined my writing skills.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
mmm - salami

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No. well - i take care of them all the time... so not biologically. but kinda, yes.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
of course!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
me?... noooooo....

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Nope - they whipped them out 2 days after my sister was born. Guess my mom couldn't deal with 2 wailing kids.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
YUP - have done!! Off the Bloukraans Bridge... i'd recommend it... crazyest 5 seconds of your entire life!!! Check out the highest commercial bungee in the world!!! http://www.faceadrenalin.com/

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
ummm. don't really eat it.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Sometimes - drives my mom NUTS!

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
yup.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
ROLO!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
their confidence level

15. RED OR PINK?
neither. maybe pink MARGINALLY more.

16. WHAT IS the least favorite thing about yourself?
ummm - eyes i think. Except it would be nice if they worked better~!

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
My bestest best friends

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
decided to go the blog route - that way the people that care can read this... read on faithful fans!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
jeans and no socks.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
mmm - just shared my little kid's rice crispies... didn't get time for brekkies this morning.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW
"Cars" movie

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
purple

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
freshly cut grass

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
my boss

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
sez rocks.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
one day cricket

28. EYE COLOR?
blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTActs
used to... ran out of money. so now i'm back to glasses (until i get less broke)

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
pasta

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
watched "deja vu" yesterday - surprisingly good. (**not FANTASTIC** but good enough)

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Bright pink that says "i love nerds" - my only article of pink clothing!!

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
I'm a summer baby all the way through

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
both? hugs are universally nice. but i really like kisses!

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
cheese cake

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
meh-

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
whatevs

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
in between books actually. NO MORE STUDYING FOR ME EVER~!

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
its just blue

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?
nothing

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
don't know...

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
don't really listen to either. a little before my time.

44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Canada or South Africa... guess depends which "home" we're talking about here...

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
i can touch my nose with my tongue.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
PMB

poetry mood

2007-04-26T14:27:00.000-06:00

LITTLE GIDDING
(No. 4 of 'Four Quartets')
T.S. Eliot

V
What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make and end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from. And every phrase
And sentence that is right (where every word is at home,
Taking its place to support the others,
The word neither diffident nor ostentatious,
An easy commerce of the old and the new,
The common word exact without vulgarity,
The formal word precise but not pedantic,
The complete consort dancing together)
Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning,
Every poem an epitaph. And any action
Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat
Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start.
We die with the dying:
See, they depart, and we go with them.
We are born with the dead:
See, they return, and bring us with them.
The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree
Are of equal duration. A people without history
Is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern
Of timeless moments. So, while the light fails
On a winter's afternoon, in a secluded chapel
History is now and England.

With the drawing of this Love and the voice of this
Calling

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, unremembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half-heard, in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always—
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.

T.S. Eliot (1888–1965). The Waste Land. 1922.

2007-04-26T14:05:00.000-06:00

I. THE BURIAL OF THE DEAD

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.

...

What are the roots that clutch, what branches grow
Out of this stony rubbish? Son of man,
You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken images, where the sun beats,
And the dead tree gives no shelter, the cricket no relief,
And the dry stone no sound of water.

Counting Beans

2007-04-26T13:43:00.000-06:00

The Bean Counter

This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious. Once you find him - it's embarrassing and you think, "Why didn't I see him immediately? "

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people.

If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally.

If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein.

If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!!

And, yes, the man is really there!!!

2007-04-26T00:45:00.000-06:00

Chris Daughtry - It's Not Over

I was blown away
What could I say
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything
And I can't deal with that.

I try to see the good in life.
But good things in life are hard to find.
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

(well i'll try to do it right this time around)
let's start over,
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

I've taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We've wasted too much time
Being strong and holding on
Can't let it bring us down

My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

Cause it's all misunderstood

(Well I'll try to do it right this time around)
Let's start over,
I'll try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

We can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out.

It's not over
We'll try to do to it right this time around
Its not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

Lets start over
Its not over

Yeah yeah
This love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over

I love my mom!

2007-04-13T12:34:00.000-06:00

- this is a funny forward i got - definately heard most of these at one time or another :P

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

jobbed

2007-04-13T08:56:00.000-06:00

so interviewed, got the job, turned down the job, now don't have a job. Silly?
I don't know. but i feel completely at peace about the whole thing, and i know that God's in control. So leaving it to him... easier said than done!
I am nanny-ing for the next couple months and then hopefully working for the city for the last couple... so that should be fun!

Now to get to some studying... eek!
C

2007-04-07T13:21:00.000-06:00

So last weekend was the Junos, in humble little Saskatoon....
We went to check out the jazz (since Mark Zielke was playing) - WOW!! Man, that Mark Zielke sure knows how to rock the house! My favourite part was when he hurt his finger and started to bleed all over the piano. His solution: play a blues song whilst wiping the blood off the keys. And it sounded fantastic!!! GENIUS!!

AWW! Look how cute we are! all dressed up and ready to party :)

Kelly Lee Evans came after Mark - INCREDIBLE!! I don't know how she didn't win an award. She is seriously amazing. I think i need to buy her disk. She's also coming back for Jazzfest in June, so i'm definately going to that.

Here's Julia and I dancing up a storm... wooo! Kelly literally came down into the audience and pulled us to our feet! What fun :)

Shay

2007-04-07T13:16:00.000-06:00

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

We all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

measure your life

2007-04-03T19:51:00.000-06:00

Music Video:SEASONS OF LOVE (by Rent)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

hungry and naked!

2007-04-03T09:27:00.000-06:00

"When i get a little money, i buy books. And if there is any left over, i buy food and clothes." - Desiderius Erasmus (1460 - 1536)
(Dutch Renaissance Scholar and Thologian)

some random questions

2007-03-29T09:57:00.000-06:00

1.What would you do if a leprechaun jumped out of the bushes and stole your wallet?
take him down!

2. If you encountered a drunken bear what would you do?
steal his booze?

3. Lucky charms or fruit loops?
ummm. neither. I like plain ol' rice crispies

5. If you were going to a costume party tonight, what would you be?
princess

6. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?
honesty

7. What would you rather have; a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?
UGG! Housekeeper for sure! I am not good at this whole housekeeping thing. And a housekeeper could cook right?

8. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may or may not contain $500.
Take the 50 - i'm not much of a gambler.

9. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?
caramel/ toffee. Mmmm - as much like rolo icecream as possible!

10. Rock, paper, or scissors?
rock. no reason.

11. What is your wallpaper on your cell phone?
snowboarder. He's there to remind me that someday i'll be a truly excellent boarder too.

12. If you could only use one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be?
fly

13. Last movie you watched?
"Stranger than fiction" - it was ok - not brilliant.

14. What is the first word that comes to mind right now?
sleep

15. What color are your sheets?
blue and yellow stars

16. What is your favourite flavor of Kool-Aid?
green apple

18. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
huh - i don't know. i'd have to plan it out... sounds fun!

19. What size ring do you wear?
8

20. What was your elementary school mascot?
a dragon.. can't remember its name. but i was responsible for it on hockey tours!

21. What is your favourite Starbucks drink?
mmm... chai tea latte. with lots of cinnamon!

22. Are you a health freak?
nope. prob should look into that tho'...

23. Have you ever been to college?
uggg.... have i ever left?

24. Are you a member of the mile high club?
um... no

25. Do you like your neighbours?
i think they might be drug dealers. Actually, they're probably not, but they seem so awfully nice that its hard not to suspect them!

26. Would you kill someone?
nope

27. Have you ever been arrested?
no

28. Have you ever slept with someone out of pity?
no

30. Have you ever been hit on by the same sex?
sadly yes (it was pretty odd actually.)

31. Do you wear perfume or cologne? If so what is your favourite?
yeah - an AVON (i know, i know - the evil empire!) perfume called "Starring"

32. Tan or Pale?
i'm aquiring prairie pale.

33. Planes or Buses?
Planes - i LOVE flying. Considered a career in flying, but its not much for having a life...

34. Diamonds or Gold?
amethests

35. Who let the dogs out?
not me. i wish nobody had.

36. Orange juice or Apple juice?
apple's my favourite, but i like orange to spice things up.

37. Do you shower daily?
yup. its a pretty good policy if you want to keep your friends!

38. Have you ever made out with just a friend?
no comment?

39. Would you date someone younger than you?
apparently!

40. Would you date someone older than you?
yup

41. Could you live without sex?
probably not - don't really know.

42. Snakes or Rabbits?
i like bunnies!

43. Have you ever Googled yourself?
frequently.

44. Ever starred in your own film?
well, i don't know about "Starred", but i played a major role in "Beq-watch"

45. Do you believe in aliens?
why not? If God made life on Earth, why would he stop there?

46. How do you vent anger?
silence, venting outloud and then usually writing. (its a process!)

47. What is your favourite word?
"ooo - kay!" (i don't know if its my favourite, but its definately an abused word in my vocab)

48. Good or Evil?
me? angelic! (tee hee!)

49. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yup

50. Logic or Art?
i'd say logic. some would disagree ;)

51. Do animals have souls?
i don't know.

52. Rough or Sensual?
sensual

53. Do you smoke?
nope.

54. Do you believe in Love?
of course!

55. Last time you saw your mom?
Monday. Its her birthday tomorrow! She's turning 21 apparently.

56. Have you ever met a celebrity?
nope. umm - does Riley Armstrong count?? Haha.

57. Mints or chewing gum?
Gum

58. Have you ever danced in public?
i try not to. but yes. way too many times!!

59. Would you consider it fun to have the cops chase you in a pursuit?
nope! I always want to cry when i get pulled over - and not for sympathy but because i HATE getting in trouble!

60. Do you have a big mouth?
medium. but a SUPER long tongue.

2007-03-27T13:34:00.000-06:00

Wow - its the middle of a busy Tuesday. I have 3 papers to write and a presentation to prepare for tomorrow. But i thought i'd take a short break while walking over to pick up some books from the library. On route the thought of tea and donuts called to me - who doesn't need a donut and a cuppa tea when writing papers?

When i got to Timmy Ho's, i made my order, and discovered, true to university's mandate on inconvieniences, they do not have debit. Nor do i ever have cash. Nor am i willing to put in the effort to go find cash when i should be back writing my papers. So i appologize and prepare to walk away. As i do, another Timmy Ho's lady says - "here, let me fill it up..." and takes my travel mug. I say "no - i don't have any cash" and she says "what did you want?" I repeat - "uhh - i don't have any cash..." and she says "what did you want." Its funny - i have no problems giving people things - but accepting freebies is a humbling experience.

Naturally, since i'm supposed to be writing papers, i'm thinking about anything but papers, and i was preoccupied by the thought of grace. Her simple GRACIOUS act has changed my day - i couldn't find any words to thank her enough for a cup of steeped tea she was probably going to throw out soon anyway. But she made such a big impact on me. I know this is going to sound "floofy" but in all seriousness - what kind of impact do i make on other people on a daily basis by the things i do and say?

This is a quote i was struck by in one of my classes yesterday. Its directed at teachers, but i think it applies to "everyday" situations as well ...

I have come to a frightening conclusion. I am the decisive element in the classroom.It is my personal approach that creates the climate.It is my daily mood that makes the weather.As a teacher I possess tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous.I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisiswill be escalated or de-escalated, and a child humanized or de-humanized.
- Haim Ginot (Between Teacher and Child)

I think it might be one of those things i need to print out and stick on my desk - just to remind me.

I leave you with TS Elliot - one of my favourite - scratch that - my FAVOURITE poet.

This is his "Portrait of a lady"

AMONG the smoke and fog of a December afternoon

You have the scene arrange itself—as it will seem to do—

With “I have saved this afternoon for you”;

And four wax candles in the darkened room,

Four rings of light upon the ceiling overhead,
5
An atmosphere of Juliet’s tomb

Prepared for all the things to be said, or left unsaid.

We have been, let us say, to hear the latest Pole

Transmit the Preludes, through his hair and fingertips.

“So intimate, this Chopin, that I think his soul
10
Should be resurrected only among friends

Some two or three, who will not touch the bloom

That is rubbed and questioned in the concert room.”

—And so the conversation slips

Among velleities and carefully caught regrets
15
Through attenuated tones of violins

Mingled with remote cornets

And begins.

“You do not know how much they mean to me, my friends,

And how, how rare and strange it is, to find
20
In a life composed so much, so much of odds and ends,

[For indeed I do not love it … you knew? you are not blind!

How keen you are!]

To find a friend who has these qualities,

Who has, and gives
25
Those qualities upon which friendship lives.

How much it means that I say this to you—

Without these friendships—life, what cauchemar!”

Among the windings of the violins

And the ariettes
30
Of cracked cornets

Inside my brain a dull tom-tom begins

Absurdly hammering a prelude of its own,

Capricious monotone

That is at least one definite “false note.”
35
—Let us take the air, in a tobacco trance,

Admire the monuments,

Discuss the late events,

Correct our watches by the public clocks.

Then sit for half an hour and drink our bocks.
40

IINow that lilacs are in bloom

She has a bowl of lilacs in her room

And twists one in his fingers while she talks.

“Ah, my friend, you do not know, you do not know

What life is, you who hold it in your hands”;
45
(Slowly twisting the lilac stalks)

“You let it flow from you, you let it flow,

And youth is cruel, and has no remorse

And smiles at situations which it cannot see.”

I smile, of course,
50
And go on drinking tea.

“Yet with these April sunsets, that somehow recall

My buried life, and Paris in the Spring,

I feel immeasurably at peace, and find the world

To be wonderful and youthful, after all.”
55

The voice returns like the insistent out-of-tune

Of a broken violin on an August afternoon:

“I am always sure that you understand

My feelings, always sure that you feel,

Sure that across the gulf you reach your hand.
60

You are invulnerable, you have no Achilles’ heel.

You will go on, and when you have prevailed

You can say: at this point many a one has failed.

But what have I, but what have I, my friend,

To give you, what can you receive from me?
65
Only the friendship and the sympathy

Of one about to reach her journey’s end.

I shall sit here, serving tea to friends….”

I take my hat: how can I make a cowardly amends

For what she has said to me?
70
You will see me any morning in the park

Reading the comics and the sporting page.

Particularly I remark

An English countess goes upon the stage.

A Greek was murdered at a Polish dance,
75
Another bank defaulter has confessed.

I keep my countenance,

I remain self-possessed

Except when a street piano, mechanical and tired

Reiterates some worn-out common song
80
With the smell of hyacinths across the garden

Recalling things that other people have desired.

Are these ideas right or wrong?

IIIThe October night comes down; returning as before

Except for a slight sensation of being ill at ease
85
I mount the stairs and turn the handle of the door

And feel as if I had mounted on my hands and knees.

“And so you are going abroad; and when do you return?

But that’s a useless question.

You hardly know when you are coming back,
90
You will find so much to learn.”

My smile falls heavily among the bric-à-brac.

“Perhaps you can write to me.”

My self-possession flares up for a second;

This is as I had reckoned.
95
“I have been wondering frequently of late

(But our beginnings never know our ends!)

Why we have not developed into friends.”

I feel like one who smiles, and turning shall remark

Suddenly, his expression in a glass.
100
My self-possession gutters; we are really in the dark.

“For everybody said so, all our friends,

They all were sure our feelings would relate

So closely! I myself can hardly understand.

We must leave it now to fate.
105
You will write, at any rate.

Perhaps it is not too late.

I shall sit here, serving tea to friends.”

And I must borrow every changing shape

To find expression … dance, dance
110
Like a dancing bear,

Cry like a parrot, chatter like an ape.

Let us take the air, in a tobacco trance—

Well! and what if she should die some afternoon,

Afternoon grey and smoky, evening yellow and rose;
115
Should die and leave me sitting pen in hand

With the smoke coming down above the housetops;

Doubtful, for a while

Not knowing what to feel or if I understand

Or whether wise or foolish, tardy or too soon…
120
Would she not have the advantage, after all?

This music is successful with a “dying fall”

Now that we talk of dying—

And should I have the right to smile?

2007-03-24T12:12:00.001-06:00

WOOOHOOO! The countdown has begun!! 9 school days left :) :) :)
Best news ever. I love being a student, and don't think i'll ever stop taking courses, pds and learning, but I'll sure be glad to be done this formal chunk.... I'm ready for the part where they pay me to work instead of visa versa!!
Eek... only 3 assignments, 6 exams and a couple of presentations to do before then... its going to be a fun 9 days! Well, looks like its time to run.. groceries and all that. And prob a car wash = mine got splattered with mud. Oh the joys of spring. But its +16, so no complaining here!
C

Where's Carie?

2007-03-05T10:54:00.000-06:00

oooooooooo.... notice any new changes to my layout?? Probably not. But there have been, if you look SUPER carefully.

Its like "Where's Waldo". Fun times for all.
c

SOUTH AFRICA THE BEAUTIFUL

2007-02-28T22:23:00.000-06:00

This is a really long article, but a worthwhile read I think... How do we become so IMMUNE to inhumanity? I agree with, and cry over many parts of this report - I, like most of my fellow Saffas, have lost friends to this senseless crime. There are other parts of this article that make some rather large generalizations...

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
c
***********************************************************************************

During the time of National Party reforms in the seventies and eighties, the cliché "adapt or die" used to do the rounds. Nowadays, given the highest murder rate in the world, this should be modified slightly to read, "adapt and die". For the endemic social violence in South Africa is probably incurable.

Optimists think that violent crime can be solved through better policing, more efficient courts and more secure prisons. Even assuming that such improvements were possible under conditions of hard-core affirmative action, it must be admitted that criminal justice treats the symptom and not the cause of social violence. The Department of Correctional Services, for one, has lost 496 out of 500 former Deputy Directors since 1994, representing most of the intellectual capital in the department. Newcomers may learn their job properly, or they may not, but they have to be flown to overseas countries to find out how prisons work as most of those previously involved in managing our prisons are no longer there.
South Africa used to have a problem of political violence. It was not as bad as elsewhere in Africa, but for some reason elicited hysterical international condemnation. However, actors in political violence are mostly driven by some sort of creed or belief system. Whether such a person is a communist, an anarchist, a neo-Nazi or an ethnic or religious guerilla fighter, he is usually amenable to persuasion or compromise. Even a group of Muslim suicide bombers might declare peace if they were given a territory in which to set up an Islamic theocracy, governed only by themselves and not subject to any outside influence.
In the same way, South Africa's so-called liberation movements who were at one time fanatically convinced of the need for violent and bloody revolution, laid down arms and bombs upon being told that F.W. de Klerk would surrender power unconditionally. Solving political violence is often intractable, but not impossible.

Not so social violence. Endemic crime, the breakdown of the social fabric, a sense of drift regarding norms of good conduct, point to a far deeper problem. The freedom fighter or urban terrorist is ultimately rational, despite a value system that normal society might find idiosyncratic.
But what is "normal society"? It is only the sum-total of behaviours prevalent in any given society at any given time. The Aztecs, infamously, practised daily human sacrifice to appease their sun god. It might revolt many of us today, but to them it was entirely normal. South Africa currently sacrifices about 87 humans per day to violent crime, or 32 000 per year. Those are only the ones who actually die. Scores of others are injured, maimed, traumatised, robbed, raped, burgled and so on.

In any suburb today an entire history of murders, hijackings, and other violent events can be written, if only the locals were narcissistic enough to consider their own history worth recording for posterity. On the other hand, social violence lacks the charm and grandeur of political violence as it is usually not committed in the interest of some glamorous cause like national liberation or world revolution but simply to acquire some hapless person's BMW or rape his wife because she happened to be inside.

However, some time ago a Johannesburg newspaper engaged in chronicling some local history in the suburbs of Westdene and Lakefield in Benoni. Nearly every resident had a story to tell, an entire litany of mayhem. Mr. John Gee miraculously survived a shot through the eye, but now feels traumatised. His wife says, "One lives in fear in one's own home. One does not sleep. One prays for protection, yet only more fears come."
But who are the authors of South Africa's social violence? Even asking this question presents one with a sense of discomfort, because most violent criminals in South Africa are young black men between the ages of 16 and 36. As one surgeon who had stitched together at least three child rape victims, two of whom were infants, said recently, "Probably white men commit such acts too; it is just that no-one in South Africa has come across such a case."
Of course, it would be preposterous to say that all young black men are prone to violence. Judging from our daily experiences in crime-torn South Africa, however, a sub-section of that population, large enough to cause more havoc than even a well-equipped guerilla army of a few thousand men, has taken up practices such as heists, hold-ups, murders, sexual violence exacted upon women and children, and so on.

Explanations for such deviancy are manifold. The ubiquitous answer of it being due to apartheid might have been satisfying if other African societies never subject to group areas and a homeland system did not display similar traits. The Congo, Liberia, Sierra Leone come to mind. There is a whole nature/nurture debate around black violence, except that no adherent of the "nature" side would publicly admit to being one, for fear of being branded a racist. Even though mainstream American cancer research has conclusively shown that black men have higher levels of testosterone than their white counterparts, few would hazard the notion that this might be linked to their greater propensity for violent crime.

America has a gargantuan prison population of two million, over half of which consists of African-Americans. This is despite their minority status in the USA, comprising only 12% of an overall population amounting to 290 million. South Africa could neither afford nor succeed, given the dire state of our criminal justice system, in jailing a similar number of black male offenders. Currently, only 10% of murderers in South Africa get arrested and only 6% are convicted. Any murderer therefore has a 94% chance of getting away with it.

If by some miracle all serious criminals in the country had to be caught and imprisoned, the prison population would surely treble or quadruple from the present 200 000, which is already high by world standards. Not only is such an improvement inconceivable under current conditions, but it would also be politically unpopular with the ruling ANC who would be incarcerating large numbers of young black males who are mostly its own supporters at the polls. Few whites, if any, commit violent crime and there are only 3 900 of them in prison, mostly for white-collar offences such as fraud or insider trading on the stock exchange.
All that remains in the world's most violent society, is precisely to adapt and die. Twice as many South Africans of all races now die of murder than of road accidents - even though the road accident rate is also the highest in the world, surpassing that of Turkey. Crime extends to trade in driver's licences, so that a large number of drivers use so-called "bought licences", hardly a contribution to road safety.

There are some people naive enough to think that "something can be done about crime" in South Africa, mostly opposition politicians who dream about diverting funds from arms procurement to policing, but this would be futile. There are already three times as many private security personnel as state-employed policemen, and even they do not succeed in containing what has become Africa's only peacetime killing field.
"I killed them because they were white." These famous words were spoken last year by William Kekana, who participated in one of the most horrendous incidents in which the entire family of Mr. Clifford Rawstorne was wiped out, consisting of his fiancée, baby, as well as his own mother. Even this massacre of an entire family would not have made headlines, were it not for the fact that one year-old Kayla was executed on her very first birthday with a shot in the head. Needless to say, the two adult women were first raped before being killed. Both William Kekana and his accomplice, Charles Fido Baloyi, fell into the high-risk group of young black (and Coloured) males who commit almost all violent crime in the country.
South Africa actually has a Minister of Safety and Security, which to some might seem like an example of absurd humour. His Excellency Mr. Charles Nqakula, whose official résumé proudly states that he was once "a waiter and wine steward", has immortalised himself by euphemistically stating that there was no real crime problem in South Africa, except that it was "a little on the high side".

All in all, South Africa has got remarkably used to its new-found status as the crime capital of the world. The high-rise districts of Hillbrow and Berea in Johannesburg have been officially designated by Interpol as having the highest murder rate in the world, that is, 600 people per 100 000 population members per annum. Consider for a moment that such a figure represents 12 times the rate found in inner-city ghettoes in the United States, often seen as no-go zones by many Americans.
One British immigrant to South Africa who has survived three car hijackings, refuses to emigrate, stating that he is now accustomed to having Kalachnikovs pointed at him from point-blank range. Everyone knows a relative or friend who has been killed or at least subjected to some form of violent crime, and no South African can remotely imagine a society where people do not live behind razor wire, electrified fences, high walls, burglar bars and similar decorative props.

Outsiders might find our lifestyle bizarre, but many pundits in South Africa consider our society to be much more "normal" now than at any time in the past, which was tarnished by ethnic separation albeit without the present large-scale violence. At the height of segregation and apartheid under Hendrik Verwoerd, South Africa was almost as peaceful as Switzerland but she was immoral. Today we are the apotheosis of racial morality and political correctness, yet as violent as the Congo or Liberia. Surprisingly, however, our economy continues to function amid the carnage. No economist has ever studied this as far as I know, but not only is crime our biggest industry - bigger than gold-mining or manufacturing - it also stimulates consumption as stolen goods are replaced; it is a boon to the insurance and security industries and ultimately makes surgeons and undertakers rich. The government earns billions of rands in Value-Added Tax on stolent goods being replaced with new ones. So crime pays.
News about killings or shoot-outs no longer elicits the slightest surprise. It is part of our daily existence, and one assumes the lethal risks attending to something as simple as going shopping or driving to work. My wife, for example, has twice been to the local shopping centre where in the one instance a shoot-out was taking place in the parking area so that she had to hide between the cars with our 18 month-old son in her arms; in the second case an armed robbery had just taken place with the robbers casually strolling by with their guns and their loot.
Everyone knows someone who has been killed, raped or maimed. Just this week, the wife of a friend and former literary editor of Die Burger, François Smith, was stabbed to death with a screwdriver in their home in Wellington, near Cape Town. Her murderer was a 16-year-old squatter camp resident whose race was omitted by the press but presumably few, if any whites, reside in his particular squatter camp which is dedicated to black Africans. Lisbé Smuts-Smith was a well-known academic and head of the Afrikaans literature department at the University of Cape Town. Just two weeks ago, another UCT academic, mathematician Brian Hahn, was attacked by a former student, dr. Maleafisha Steve Tladi (35). Hahn died in hospital a week later, while Tladi was released on bail of R500 (about $80).

Two years ago Louw Rabie, a brilliant albeit reclusive geologist and brother of author Jan Rabie, was beaten to death with a fence pole by two Coloured men to whom he had lent some money a week earlier. Police in the small Cape town of Montagu readily caught his murderers because they happened to have drinking money during the week, taken from his home. He was 80 years old, but in good health. He is reputed to have been one of the most brilliant geologists and intellectuals this country has ever produced, writing copiously throughout his life but disdaining publication and public esteem. Africans with their oral tradition are fond of saying that "when an old person dies, a library burns down". What strikes me about the relentless killings of educated whites, is that the criminals are indeed "burning down the libraries" of this country and physically exterminating the intellectual class, much like Pol Pot did in Cambodia. The media are celebrating youth, dance, colour, being black and exuberant - as opposed to the quiet studiousness of middle-aged and elderly whites, the bearers of knowledge and understanding. Are these learned whites who are being killed in exuberant, paradisiacal outbreaks of violence simply the remnants of a civilisation that is being eradicated in the name of decolonisation? No government spokesman has ever condemned such killings; so we may assume that the present regime is completely indifferent to them, where such killings do not enjoy their tacit support.
Around our local school in the past week there have been two car hijackings, as well as one murder. It is not really considered to be an exceptionally violent area. Most of this is not even reported in the press, because there really is not enough space and ordinary crime is no longer newsworthy. It needs some further sadistic element to make the front page, such as babies getting killed or raped, or elderly farmers being tortured to death. Farming in South Africa is now arguably the most dangerous profession in the world with more than 1600 farmers murdered since 1994, often in macabre and dehumanising ways.

To the outside world, white South Africans are congenitally evil. If our murderers and rapists had been white and their victims black, Europe or the United States would long ago have sent an expeditionary force to put a stop to it. At present, news of white suffering in South Africa inspires the occasional yawn in Western capitals. This is why a recent article in The Despatch, detailing the rape of a dog by three black men, gave me some hope that a chord will be struck somewhere in the coolly indifferent breasts of our fellow-Westerners. Even if the lives of Louw Rabie, Brian Hahn, Lisbé Smuts-Smith, Kayla Rawstorne and tens of thousands of others are of no value to them, perhaps they will take pity on the mongrel bitch in Grahamstown that was recently raped by three black men. Or perhaps two black men, as the third one protested his innocence upon being dragged out of the shack by screaming, "I came here to relieve myself. These two were raping the dog when I arrived!" Cruelty to humans, especially white humans, is today a normal feature of our society, just like human sacrifice used to be in the culture of the Aztecs. Cruelty to animals, or non-consensual sex with dogs, may still evoke some sympathy, not only locally, but also internationally. I therefore feel sorry for Masganda - the name of the dog concerned - who was rescued with a bleeding vagina and in need of veterinary attention, but perhaps this lowly creature of uncertain lineage could become a martyr for our cause in alerting opinion-makers and political leaders of our plight.

Cycling has become a popular sport in South Africa. However, its practitioners regularly get shot at by gangs of black youths in the street, so that many of them carry guns and knives for self-defence on their bicycles. Members of the Johannesburg mountain-bike club were outraged a while ago when two cyclists, Scott and Lloyd Griffith, were charged with murder after an armed battle with their four black assailants, one of whom succumbed to his wounds.
Most of the time, however, whites are helpless victims of crime. The government has recently passed a new gun law which makes it difficult, if not impossible, to own a fire-arm. They have also abolished rural commandos of military reservists entrusted with crime-prevention in the country, without any police units replacing them. Occasionally the newspapers carry stories of crime victims successfully defending themselves against attacks, offering armed resistance. As a result of the new gun law, this will soon end and we shall simply be able to hide or flee from our assailants. Defending oneself against a marauding robber or rapist might be a manifestation of racism, and is therefore frowned upon as being a kind of "right-wing" response.
Being robbed of one's vehicle or household belongings is now considered quite normal, and often people ascribe escaping with their lives to their own astuteness, such as being friendly to the robber, helping him load the effects into a vehicle, not looking him in the face so as not to recognise him afterwards, et cetera. A friend of mine in Kempton Park kept up a reasonable conversation with the thieves emptying his house, tied up as he was with a gun pointed at him. He survived, although his elderly mother was badly roughed up and had to be hospitalised. In other instances, of course, people are not so lucky and they become just another murder statistic. Then they simply adapt and die.

*
The first draft of this article was submitted to the British Spectator, who turned it down about a year ago. I have now updated it with references to more recent incidents. Probably no mainstream newspaper in South Africa will publish it, because it refers to the race and gender of violent criminals, which is taboo here as elsewhere in the Western world. As George Orwell said, however, "during times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act".

In the mood for lists

2007-01-27T01:24:00.000-06:00

So I started writing this somewhere around last September (05)… haha… I’ve already started on a few of these - some just happened to me!! (I’ll let you figure out which ones!)
Its funny how life changes in 16 months. (and SAD how much i still want to get done of these mundane little tasks!) You'll notice that i've also posted "THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE" in the sidebar - so that i can see them all the time. Still working on a few formatting bugs, but i figure it might be good incentive.

1. Throw my sis a good b-day party
2. Go sky diving
3. Finish hanging up posters and stuff in my room
4. Take pics of my home and church and car and make a photo collage of my life
5. Actually do my homework (instead of procrastinating and making lists…), finish off my degree
6. Clean the bathroom more often
7. Travel somewhere far away - just for the heck of it
8. Spend more time with my sister
9. Read my Bible regularly
10. Find and develop new musical tastes
11. Write to family and friends - just because
12. Pay back my parents
13. Find a good guy… actually think about dating him…
14. Move to Vancouver
15. Learn & become fluent in sign language
16. Find a job in education, love my life!
17. Figure out what I’m going to do with all the crap I have at my parent’s house!
18. Buy and fill a freezer with real meals
19. Eat real meals (aka: not peanut butter sandwiches)
20. Take more care of my appearances… buy real work clothes, wear makeup, do my hair!
21. Figure out what went wrong in a couple of friendships, and work them out.
22. Gossip less
23. Read more fiction
24. Spend more time outside
25. Organise all my photos
26. Pray more
27. Exercise more often
28. Write more hand written notes to friends and mail them letters
29. Take more time to show the friends that I really love that I really love them.
30. Relearn piano and drums
31. Memorize a beautiful poem just because
32. Learn about how my car works
33. Run a marathon (even a mini one)
34. Design a webpage
35. Learn how to play ICE hockey (pffft!)
36. Kiss a boy
37. Play outside in the rain
38. Watch thunderstorms
39. Do more back flips
40. Get a suntan
41. Worry less
42. Wear sunscreen
43. Floss
44. DANCE!
45. Get to know my parents… spend lots of time with them
46. Plan to be poor
47. Treasure my mind- value what goes in to it
48. Spend more time doing silly things that will last in my memory forever and less time doing mundane things that I won’t care about tomorrow
49. Finish this list!
50.

the winning quote of the day...

2007-01-24T16:16:00.000-06:00

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."

--General William Westmoreland

so true

2007-01-08T17:03:00.000-06:00

"We're all informavores now, hunting down and consuming data as our ancestors once sought woolly mammoths and witchetty grubs."

Rachel Chalmers, "Surf Like A Bushman," New Scientist

2007-01-08T16:46:00.000-06:00

So we are now in day 3 of classes. I am currently being bored to death by my computer mediated computer class. GO FIGURE. oh well. Easy credit and hopefully i'l learn something exciting sometime soon. Until then i decided to semi-zone and blog instead. The greatest thing is the people who have no idea how to even log into PAWS let alone how to zip files or anthing remotely easy. When emailing is a challenge, life loses a lot of its luster in terms of interst factor. BAH. At least i don't just have to sit here. It would be way WAY worse if he had the Blackboard ability to control my screen. EEK> Its annoying because after wasting most of the leason, he throws our hour long assignment at us in the last 20 mins. EXCELLENT.

ANYWAY - enough of that. I am glad to be back at school. There are a lot of things that i should be thinking about already - resumes, job hunts, career fairs, etc, etc... Just thinking about it is slightly alarming. But it is nice to be able to do nothing of consequence on weekends, and do my homework when i feel like it. I guess i just need to be a little more organized. (hehe!)
Definately the best thing about being back is the chance to catch up with old friends and classmates. Its really fun to compare experiences (good and bad) and see what everybody's been up too. Its been 8 months since i've seen most so there's a lot of catching up to do.

Its been a yucky winter so far. driving out to Rosthern was pretty brutal for much of November, but it let up nicely for Christmas. We had another snowfal again this last week, but apart from the death defying experience of walking to work, its not too bad out right now.

EEK - he's started to talk about something vaguely important, so i should go...

later!
C

honey, i'm hoooooome!

2007-01-01T18:12:00.000-06:00

YIPEE! I'm officially back! Christmas'ed, New Years'ed, house-sitted, and ready to face the mass (and mess) of stuff that i brought back from Rosthern. Hard to believe that these holidays have flown by and school starts in 2 days! Eek!
I am excited at the same time, but it seems wierd to be considering my life as a student again. Oh well.

anyway - i'm going to go enjoy my last couple days of freedom!!

peace out.

2 days left of school!

2006-12-20T08:50:00.000-06:00

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass -
it's about learning to dance in the rain.

thanks for remembering

2006-11-12T22:15:00.000-06:00

Pitance of time

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i LOVE Saskatchewan! tee hee

2006-10-26T14:12:00.000-06:00

Top 10 Reasons To Live In Saskatchewan, Canada...

1.You never run out of wheat

2.Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats

3.Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning

4.Your province is really easy to draw

5.You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard

6.It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house

7.YOUR Roughriders survived

8.You can watch the dog run away from home for hours

9.You know what a quanset is

10.Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

SASKATCHEWANISMS

How do you know when you're staying in a Moose Jaw hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How can you tell if a Saskatoon redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Kindersley to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Saskatchewan?
Documentaries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where was the toothbrush invented?
Swift Current. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An RCMP officer pulls over a pickup on the Trans Canada and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" and the driver replies "Bout wut?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear about the $3 million Saskatchewan Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Premiers mansion in Regina burned down! Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss, too. Both books- POOF - up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new law was recently passed in Saskatchewan. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a bar in Prince Albert and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya? "No," replies the man, "I'm from Winnipeg". The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Winnipeg?" "I'm a taxidermist," said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist? "The man says,"I mount animals".
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar...
"It's okay boys, he's one of us" !

------------------------------------------------

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Saskatchewan. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer was climbing over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and I'm just going over to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over."
The indignant lawyer said, "Listen, I'm one of the best trial attorneys in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Saskatchewan. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Saskatchewan Three Kick Rule'." The lawyer asked, "What's the 'Saskatchewan Three Kick Rule'?!?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about this rule and decided that he could easily take the old codger. So he agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear-end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

i'm free falling...

2006-10-15T21:34:00.000-06:00

Tom Petty - Free Falling Lyrics

She’s a good girl,loves her mamma,
loves je -sus,and america too.
She’s a good girl, crazy ‘bout elvis, loves horses,
and her boyfriend too.
And it's a long day, livin’ in reseda,
there’s a freeway, runnin’ thru the yard
And i’m a bad boy, ‘cause i don’t even miss her,
i’m a bad boy, for breaking her heart

And i'm free, free falling.
Yeah i'm free, free falling.
And all the vampires walkin'
through the valley move west down ventura Boulevard.
And all the bad boys are standin' in the shadows,
and the good girls
Are home with broken hearts.

I wanna glide down over mulholland
i wanna write her name in the sky.
I'm gonna free fall out into nothin',
gonna leave this world for a while.

love you always

2006-10-11T08:41:00.000-06:00

This morning i had an epiphany. Don't worry. it didn't really hurt that much. But seriously - i figured out why i was feeling all grumpy in my previous rant, er... post. I was reading a book over the summer with Abbey called "The five love languages of Children", and guess what? They apply to adults too! There are 5 "languages" which people use to communicate love to each other: service, touch, quality time, gifts and words of affirmation. For me i think increasingly that my love language is quality time - which is ironically something i'm only learning to communicate back with.... hrrrmm.. something to think about today i guess. BUT! The bell has rung. life as i know it has begun again.
Onwards and upwards.
C

randomness and general apathy

2006-10-11T00:17:00.000-06:00

do you ever feel like you're mired down in a mass of monotony which is slowly pulling you downwards with its maudlin blahness. its not like there's anything wrong or even boring - its just not right somehow. You're fighting desparately hard to regain ground you've lost and you're screaming silently in your head, hoping with all your heart that those who know you best and love you most will somehow figure out what's wrong with you so that you can fix it. And then you realize that all and any change that you expect to occur has to come from within and above and has really got nothing at all to do with anybody else or any situations you're in.
i have to face up to being me with all my quirks and quandries and general misanthropy. its wierd, because up until this moment i don't think i'd ever have described myself as mysanthropic. but i think maybe its something thats growing in me as i get older. i have these strange urges just to go home sometimes when i'm in a crowd (*gasp, shudder*). Maybe i'm just tired of feeling new again. it takes so much energy not to care, and even more energy to care, and maybe i'm just not up for that. how do i feel new? i don't know. but it feels like starting again.
or maybe i'm just up for hanging out with a close friend, having a random conversation about nothing instead of running off to McD.

conclusion of this garble: i think i'm tired.
i am. therefore i sleep.
c

good point

2006-10-09T21:29:00.000-06:00

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schultz)

a party's afoot!

2006-09-24T02:27:00.000-06:00

Hear ye, hear ye!
Its that time of year again, when Evan and Carie celebrate their birthdays with a giant bash! Since every good party needs a theme, we're gonna have a medieval pop - luck (ie: bring - or kidnap- somebody else's pop or chips or something) and come dressed to party medieval style with us!

Ye olde palace: 96 Carleton Drive (just off 14th St , just near the Circle Dr off-ramp)

The ancient of times: the seventh hour and one half in the evening, on this twenty ninth day of September in the year of our Lord, 2006. ( 7:30pm , 29th Sept 2006 for you young punks)

Hope to see ye there! (feel free to bring ye lords and ladies!)

2006-09-22T09:09:00.000-06:00

Where has the time gone?? It is now the 22nd of September and life is a busy thing!! I have been at school at Rosthern Elementary for almost one month, and it has been a good time so far! I really like my class and the staff here, and i'm even getting used to getting up at 6:15 to get to school on time.... UGGG! Ah well, such is life. Now if only it would stop raining.
I am teaching Gr 5 -> 2 lessons a day - which has been keeping me pretty busy. Next we go to 3 lessons, then 6!! Eek! but i'm sure it will be ok. Its so nice to have an affirmation of what you're doing. Being out here really assures me that i am supposed to be a teacher, because i like it so much. The rest of the education program i'm not so sure about!

Anyway, i was taking advantage of a few minutes before staff meeting, so i should run. (YES! We get PD days!)

later,
C

Ever feel like this?

2006-09-11T20:55:00.000-06:00

Hope you're having a better day then me!

Thought for the Day:

2006-08-31T19:06:00.000-06:00

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

Usually these sorts of things drive me crazy, but today i like it :) I have had so many good intentions of updating this blog regarding St Vincent, but i keep faltering at the thought of where to begin...

As Christina said (and i hope she doesn't mind me quoting her)

"May you know with all your heart how much our heavenly father wants to lavish his love upon you, and May you walk along by his side, and open your arms!!! My Heart is Full with the Blessings i have recieved!! i want to let it overflow now so that i can Bless others. May the Lamb of God dwell among you!! God Bless!!!"

We're HERE!

2006-08-13T22:03:00.000-06:00

We're finally in St VINCENT!!! YAY! Well! Today was definately a better day! I got a good couple of hours of sleep lying stretched out in Toronto and then a couple more on the plane to Barbados. the flight from Saskatoon to toronto wa sfun. Sat next to a Saskatonian who moved from mexico City wehn he wa s9 years old adn now goes to school in montreal. Very interesting to chat to, but also an awesome seat mate who wanted to nap as much as I did, so after talkign for an hour or so, we both fell asleep. It would be funny to run into him in Saskatoon some day. And Julia's sure she knows him from somewhere, but i never found out his name... too personal. funny - after talking to somebody for ages and finding out all sorts of personal details that a name is still the most personal for some reason...
The flight from toronto to barbados was a bit smoother and a lot more sleep filled. I felt a million times better by the time we landed. Customs in both Toronto and Barbados were painless (surprisingly) adn lead to us getting on the tiny LIAT plane for St Vincent. Fortuanetly LIAT did not hold up to its acronym of Luggage In Another Terminal, and all arrived safe and sound. It was a funny little plane that was so small that they wouldn't let us disembark until they unloaded the luggage because the plane would tip over! the Gibsons picked us up at the tiny, boiling 1 room airport where we had to wait in line for what seemed like an hour. We finally go through adn drove in "mini busses" (combis!!!) to "the Big house" where we are staying. Its this gorgous old colonial house with this odd mish mash of exceptioally beautiful old wooden furniture scattered all over the place. i just want to move in and renovatate!!!

St Vincent is interetsting that way - seems to be completly dilapidated - even in an amazing house like this. reminds me a lot of an African township. And oh! do i remember this crazy heat/ humidity well! I've finally almost caught up on my beauty sleep (i KNOW I KNOW -doesn't take a lot to make me beautiful!) but the heat is draining. i'd forgoten life with humidity. Its good to be back in it though! I LOVE IT! We woke up this morning to paw paw for breakfast - we used to eat it EVERY day for months at home in SA! then we rushed out the door for church - we led worship, and even though we're still getting into it, i don't thiink we did too badly. tonight was definatley better though. We came home and had lunch then headed out to Indian Beach for the afternoon for some swimming and snorkeling! it was gorgeoius. the water was nice and warm with no waves! Its fantastic to be back in the ocean!! Life here is so funny and so african! its so oddly familiar in its flora and fauna and general attitude to life! Being back in the ocean and surrounded by black people was so much like home, with the exception that all the women were a little smaller and fully clothed!... a rarity on SA beaches!! (tee hee!)

Anyway, i'm sure i've more than used up my dial up time in this post...

Keep praying for us - the heat makes us all really tired, and i think we're all a little nervous about VBS starting in... EEK! 9 hours!

blessings,
C

4 more sleeps!

2006-08-07T10:43:00.000-06:00

My New BABY!

2006-08-06T13:42:00.000-06:00

My parents bought me my new baby as an early birthday pressie, so that i could take her to St Vincent with me! YIPEE! I get to go pick her up on Wednesday evening!
Prepare to be shot!!

later,
C

2006-08-05T01:30:00.000-06:00

So the COUNTDOWN begins... 10, 9, 8... YAY! I'm pretty excited! This is St Vincent - in the chain of islands near S America... It looks beautiful. We are going to do VBS for the first week, and services during the 2nd week, with a bit of beach time in between... yippee! I can't WAIT to be at the ocean again. Watched "Blue Crush" tonight... now i'm ITCHING to be in salt water. I'm actually homesick for KEATS.... I hope the summer is going well there. It's so odd being in the city for the summer - i think i'm going to try be out at the lake or ocean again next year - i just love it... we'll see what happens i guess.
I've moved (again) - this time in with Julia - I think we're going to have a good time together, and PLEEEESE: NO MORE MOVING! Ugg! I think i'm done with that for a while. Now just have to start thinking about Rosthern. But first i need to get through the boxes on my floor, a pile of laundry and important paper work. Will it never end?? I did get my Hep shot though, so chances are high that i will NOT die of scary tropical diseases whilst in St Vincent. (here's hoping!)

But i should go catch up on some beauty rest (not that i need it!) while i have the chance.

THIS ONE'S FOR THE GIRLS

2006-07-24T00:29:00.000-06:00

Naturally, because I posted the previous post BEFORE finishing off my work week, one more thing had to go wrong - something is leaking at the church, so i was running around trying to fix it/ clean up... ugg. finally just called Greg and left. HERE'S TO A BETTER WEEK!
(This all sounds very pessimistic - but NOBODY died this week, an I didn't even hit any blasted deer on the road from Regina- so there is HOPE)

I heard this song at the wedding - i've heard it before and liked it, so i thought i'd put it up here.... (I know, I know... it's country... but its an ok country song KARLA!)

Artist: Martina Mcbride
Song: This Ones For The Girls

This one's for all you girls about thirteen
High school can be so rough, can be so mean
Hold onto, on to your innocence
Stand your ground when everyone's giving in

This one's for the girls

This is for all you girls about twenty-five
In a little apartment, just trying to get by
Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o's
Wondering where you life is gonna go

This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This one's for the girls

This is for all you girls about forty-two
Tossing pennies into the Fountain of Youth
Every laugh, laugh line on your face
Made you who you are today

Yeah, we're all the same inside
From 1 to 99

This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This one's for the girls
Yeah, this one's for the girls

I'm a survivor...

2006-07-23T22:01:00.000-06:00

so i survived my crazy week and crazier weekend, and i am now moved in, wedding-ed up, churched and ready for bed. YAY Monday!
Hopefully i'll have a chance to be a REAL person next week!

ciao for now,
Carie

lego mania

2006-07-23T21:48:00.000-06:00

Check this out! This is amazing! Someone certainly is talented and patient to create such a masterpiece. (or has way too little to do, and way too much time on his hands!)

THE LEGO CHURCH:
A few quick facts:
How long to build it? It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.
How many pieces of LEGO to build ! it? more than 75,000
How big is it? About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2 m x 1.7 m x .76 m)
How many LEGO people does it seat? 1,372
How many windows? 3,976

It features a balcony, a Narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics, a nave, a baptistry, an altar, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ.

crazy huh? And i was impressed with making "Zoos" out of a line of lego and some plastic animals... haha... apparently i have less elaborate taste.

the ants go marching...

2006-07-22T01:48:00.000-06:00

UGG! Its been THAT week and its going to be THAT weekend... Tuesday's exciting event was the demise of KRONOS - our time machine / poor excuse for a bus. Good times. Wednesday was the day of meetings (and driving aimlessly around the city looking for an address which didn't exist.)Thursday was fencing again - VERY satisfactory to get the WHOLE farm down... YEAH POST BUSTERS! (Maybe i'll put up a slide show of the whole postinators team.) With names like "im-post-ers","postman", etc... how could things go wrong?
Today was moving day. I rushed home after work, tried to get everything packed up and then called my dad to come help. It is now 1:49 am and i have just finished unpacking mostly everything. BLESSED SLEEP COME QUICK!
Tomorrow is Jill's wedding! ANOTHER good friend all grown up and married! WEIRD! But i'm really looking forward to it. Its just the driving there and back that i'm not so excited about. And then the usual stuff for Sunday.

While i was moving all my stuff, my imfamous quote board got a little smudged, so i thought i should put it up here post haste... if you have to ask questions then... DON'T. (try working with 50 6year olds if you want to learn how to block out questions). Just know that i did not write any of these except the last.

so with no further ado, and in somewhat of ad hoc fashion:

"THE QUOTE BOARD"

> "indy... put your pants back on"
> Apparently they weren't white"
> " T'wass"
> "Tee Hee...?"
> "Carie is ALMOST wearing a hotwheels shirt"
> "Pants are a thing of the past"
> "What? We're snapping bras?"
> "I like pineapple!"
> "Dis-ney-land!"
> "What? Puptits?"
> "ITS NOT MAN PORN!"

Just a stranger on the bus

2006-07-17T22:01:00.000-06:00

I distinctly remember the who-ha this song caused when it came out, and me in my rebellious grade 8- ness thinking, "well, what if?"... I was watching a movie tonight and they played this song, and i was reminded of the truth of it as it struck me 10 years (EEK!) ago... what if he's the old smelly guy riding next to me on the bus?? "as you do to the least of these, you do to me"... (Matt 25)

If God Was One of Us Lyrics - Joan Osbourne

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

I have ignored God for such a long time. He's a big part of my daily life, in that i run around "DOING" things for him, but have somehow allowed my Bible to get dusty next to my bed. I feel like a hypocrit teaching kids to "SPEAK UP" for him, when i don't even have the courage of my convictions to explain to to my co-workers why i don't get "Shit faced" every weekend or sleep with my boyfriend, or any of the other things they assume about me. How can i convice kids of a Godly lifestyle when i'm living just the bare skeleton of it, mostly out of habit?

I know all the sunday school answers and i could argue theology with a priest, but God looks inside my soul, and i think i haven't done much to make him proud. I sometimes feel like faith is a back-up plan, just in case he is real and i'll be standing before him one day, with no other options. But then i look back on my life and see him in action in every aspect of my life, and know that he has been present in every moment and every tear.
Why am i posting this here? i don't know except that i feel that by hiding it and pretending that i am the perfect Christian girl with no doubts or insecurities or faith hiccups that i cannot go on a missions trip to tell other people about Jesus. I know he is able to use me regardless of my flaws, but i have come to realize that i am done with hypocrisy. In my various friendships and relationships with people, i have to be real. I know that God is my creator and perfect author of my life story, and I know that i am saved through Jesus Christ, and i do want to "speak up". Maybe we are placed in various situations in life to remind us of who we really are and what we really believe. Perhaps teaching Faith Kids and Connection Kids has been God's little post-it to me of the fact that he really is writing my story, and i just have to let go of the pen for a little while.

For the last 3 summers i have allowed myself to shine for him at camp, for a brief 3 months of the year, and then slidden back into my old grunge of daily life and grind. In each summer i have really had the opportunity to develop my relationship with him, and they have been awesome learning and growing experiences which i have somehow relinquished when life returned to normal. I don't want to be living on the outskirts of faith anymore, but i can't seem to claw my way back in. I know - sunday school answer - read your Bible and pray everyday (and you'll grow, grow, grow...) but that seems to be the easy "doing" way out. I want the RELATIONSHIP part. I want to be HUNGRY. I'm not hungry for God... i cry out to him in tough times, and i know he's there, but in everyday life i don't seek his face the way i want too. I want to be passionate but don't know how to get there.

ugg. this post should not be for public reading except that i need to make it public. I want to be growing and passionate, but i know that i'll fake it every time somebody asks. Even in writing this, i am so concerned about what people will think. I'm worried about all the church people who will see me preaching to the kids and see the dirt on the inside of my cup. I'm worried that i won't be good enough to fit into the church mould. I'm worried that the people i care about most will see how much i am losing my grip on what i believe and will want to jump ship. But i HAVE to be honest. I can't go on being so shallow and empty.
Pray for me.

Carie's craziness

2006-07-15T16:33:00.000-06:00

This is another of those funny personalized quiz things, (stolen from Smaj's blog) but this time with pics... The idea is to answer the survey by putting the first image you find on google image when you type in your answer.

The age on your next birthday:

Your favourite colour:

A guilty pleasure:

Your favourite fruit or veg:

The town you live in:

Name of your favourite pet/ sibling:

Your first name: (thanks mom!)

Your Middle name:
(not suitable pic material... ugg! GROSS diane!)

about me in pics (cont.)

2006-07-15T15:55:00.000-06:00

Your last name:

Your nick name:

Your favourite book:

Your favourite actor/ actress:

Your favourite composer:

your Alma Mata:

sticks and stones

2006-07-06T00:59:00.000-06:00

URRG! Its 12:56am and i have NOTHING to wear tomorrow/today for camp. CAVEMAN outfit???? Uggg. i'm debating just smoshing up my hair and putting sticks and dirt in it tomorrow and telling the kids that cavemen didn't wear clothes, so i have to wear my regular clothes or else i'd be naked. Do you think they'll believe me? Regardless, i think it might have to be what i do. Have i ever mentioned how much i hate dressing up??? I think its because i don't have the halloween background. Costumes just seem like so much work for no reason. The princess outfit worked really well until i got caught in the middle of a giant game of sponge bombardment, which resulted in me dripping wet and covered in green dye from the inside of my dress. NICE.

Today we had a medieval battle. It was AWESOMES. i really wish i had caught it on camera. We devided the kids in 2 teams, had them line up on each end of the field and then had them charge each other, shields in hand, YELLING insults, a la Braveheart. It was fantastic!!
Its so hard to have 6 year olds at camp for a week. They're just too little. Half of them cried all day today from sheer exhaustion, and missed out on the beauty of the Middle Ages. I mean you know its a bad sign (or a really GOOD sign) when they sleep all 20 minutes home - traintracks, potholes and all. Tomorrow they should be really tired again because we're swimming all afternoon. I think those are going to be my favourite days. All 50 of them corralled in one place with a bunch of lifeguards to watch them :) Sweet. And all i have to do is swim or suntan for 3 hours. What a tough afternoon.

Anyway, my eyes are starting to water, so i should get to bed...
farewell my friends, far and wide.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. ~Calvin & Hobbes

carie the pirate had one leg

2006-07-04T00:28:00.000-06:00

does it ever feel to you like life is whirling around on its axis so fast that you can't keep up? I sometimes feel like if i just lie in my bed and do suduku puzzles, all the problems, issues and errands will just sort themselves out. i won't have to worry about internship, i won't have to figure our where to live or with whom, i won't have to deal with people coming and going and feeling happy or sad or anything at all. Its not that i'm unhappy with life, in fact if anything, i have been really happy over the last little while, i just sometimes don't feel like i have a grip on what i need to do to live. Maybe its just this week catching up. I started 2 new jobs yesterday and today - Boys and Girls Club and the Church, so its made for a busy weekend... added to not sleeping very much and dropping Indy off at the airport this morning early... i would like to be the proverbial ostrich.

But having said that, it was a wonderful weekend - Canada day was really fun with Susan & Jason's wedding at lunch, the river cruise in the afternoon and then jazz at the river and fireworks at the park. Sunday was a fun day too - spending sometime chilling in the afternoon and then hanging out in the evening at BP's and then the drive in. We stayed up all night watching movies and then took Indy to the airport at 4am. WHY do flights leave at 6am?? ugg! So early. I am very jealous! i would like to be leaving on a 6am flight tomorrow morning!

anyway, now that i have rambled on and my stream of consciousness is becoming a trickle, i think i might rotate my way towards my bed and suduku book...
early morning tomorrow with PIRATE DAY in the time machine. YARR!

love,
Carie

worth 1000

2006-06-25T16:24:00.000-06:00

well, the saying is, "a picture's worth a thousand words", so this should keep you busy for a while. These are pics from about mid-may that i've been intending to put up here forever!

This film strip is from Greig Ave's house cooling/ Mels' birthday/ Kristie's Bon Voyage/ "we need to have a really big party" party. There were stacks of people there and we hawaained it up in an awesome way. I even made a new south african friend. Yay for meeting random people on the street!

These pics are from "Roomie supper". We all went out toMontana's for supper, and i dared Kristie and Karla to kiss the moose. Long and short of it is, desert won out over public humiliation and the moose has a better day than he's had for a while. haha.

Mel, Andrea and I decided to go shopping one beautiful Thursday. Shopping turned into picnic in the park, which in turn became posing like statues on top of the fountain. I think we amused the people around us, we definately got some applause ;)

Travel bug

2006-06-21T02:25:00.000-06:00

I thought this was pretty cool. Most of these places i've only flown through... although i did spend time in England, Scotland, Zim and a little time in South Africa... I added St Vincent, i figure give or take a month. :) :) :)

create your own visited countries map

later...
Carie

catching up with carie

2006-06-16T22:14:00.000-06:00

Oh my goodness, how is it June 16th already???? Where has time gone. As Jill adroitly pointed out tonight, a month ago i said "Sorry.. have to run... call you in 4 hours" and 4 weeks and 4 hours later... uggg. Sorry Jill. Its not that life got that much crazier, it just got that much simpler because i stopped doing fundamental things like Blogging and phoning people i love. So giant appology to everybody who once read this blog and has now moved on to greener (and more prolific) pastures.

So where to begin. I have now quit the Dub. Yup 5 weeks was just about it for me. I got awesome news in that i'm stationed in Rosthern for my internship, so only 45 mins away. AND i only have to start school on the 25th, which meant that i could take the full time job with Boys and Girls Clubs. We're doing day camps out at Pike Lake. I'm STOKED. Now the big question is whether or not to move out to Rosthern in the fall. I'm strongly leaning towards doing it, but Julia has invited me to live with her in September, which i'm also pretty tempted to do.. only move once again?? instead of 3 (YUP THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!) times in 7 months is hard to pass up. My teachers in Rosthern seem very nice... they have as much desire to do school work in the summer as i do, so i think i'll end up doing most of my planning and units in the fall when we get back, which suits me just fine.

BIG NEWS! i'm going on the Journey missions trip to St Vincent and the Grenadines. Because i only have to be back for my missions trip on the 25th instead of the 15th, i get to go!!!!! http://www.svgtourism.com/ check out this site... we're going to Fountain, (near Kingstown) - where Brendon is from. We're going to run a VBS and do some one on one young adult decipleship.
So that is very exciting. Got my passports and everything all lined up yesterday, should have it all back in 2 weeks. YAY!!!!

The wedding bug has bitten again. This is the line up for the summer: Susan and Jason (1st July) Daniel and Alisa (15th July), Jill and Dan (22th July), and Cory and Leisa sometime when i'm in St Vincent. Our Biblestudy group is going marraige CRAZY! haha. So i'm really glad to be home this summer for those weddings. God has worked things out so well. Cos technically, i should be at Keats right now if i had known my internship date. but then i'd be missing so much here. He is so good.

anyway - i'm having a really good catch up with carie type evening, so i'm going to go do some more of the things i've been intending to do for weeks.

blessings.
c

hula dancers

2006-05-29T16:27:00.000-06:00

finally a pic from the hawaiian bash... more to come !

2006-05-12T02:15:00.000-06:00

Hey! I'm STOKED to have my computer back. So stoked that i wasted a bunch of time doing stupid online quizes. uggg... getting up for work isn't going to be fun tomorrow.
Anway, at least my inner quirky child will keep me entertained.

Have a good night.
C

Your Quirk Factor: 57%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child.
Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.
You cherish all of the details in life.
Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

further lessons in South Africanisms

2006-05-11T12:17:00.000-06:00

In an effort to help my international readers really "get" half of what i'm talking about... please take a look at this brief tutorial, regarding some South African terms, phrases and expressions. ** I stole it from Madam and Eve... so this might help you understand some of the brilliance of future cartoons...**

This is a work in progress, so if anyone out there has any to add ... feel free.

SNOEK LADY - Like a "Mielie Lady", only they sell snoek.
SNOEK - Oh. It would probably help to know what snoek is. It's a fish.
ROBOT - No, nothing to do with "Star Wars." Here, it's a traffic light.
BOOT - trunk of a car.
BOOTS - You wear them on your feet.
HONK - Has nothing to do with the horn of a car. Honk means "smells bad". (That perfume you're wearing really honks.)
HONK - The sound the hooter makes on your car when you push it. Called a "horn" in America.
MINIBUS TAXI - The inventors of "road rage" here. Rules of the road do not apply.
AFRICAN TIME - Whenever someone actually feels like showing up for a scheduled appointment.
"I'M COMING NOW" - In South Africa, it means "I am coming... but not sure exactly when."
"I'M COMING JUST NOW" - I'm coming...but don't hold your breath.
"I'M COMING NOW NOW." - Forget it. You could be waiting days.

More in our next installment of "South African phrases and expressions made easy".

I'm ALIVE!

2006-05-11T02:23:00.000-06:00

Fear not dearest friends! for i am not dead, just internettly devoid. That is to say that since the last time i blogged, i have moved homes, stopped going to school, constructed and destructed some important relationships, searched and interviewed for many jobs and now sit here, reaquainted with my computer, jobbed and INTERNETTED!! yippee.

It has been an interesting transition from living with 4 girls (plus 2 boys we couldn't get rid of, yet who wouldn't pay rent) in a big house, to living with my sis in a small basement suite. Different, but awesome. I'm really liking this new place, and i don't think AJ and i have ever got on so well. life is good. PLUS! I have a whole separate world in the bottom of my bedroom. You'll have to come over someday and i'll show you NARNIA. Its pretty exciting, i'm not going to lie. Additionally, i don't think much has changed. I've hung out with Karla more in the last 2 weeks than i did the whole time we lived together, and Mel has already come to visit (i like to think she's visiting me, but i know the truth ;) I like pineapples!)

As for jobs, yes, i'm back at the Dub. I know, i know. i said last time was the last time. but i guess its not. I've looked all over the place, and things just haven't opened up for me the way i wanted. but this way, i'm able to still work at McNab and make full time hours at A&W. so not bad - back to last year. haha. i'm REGRESSING. so much for my newly educated status. But i'm pretty stoked to catch up with old friends.

anyway - i'm going to bed now - got to savour every last minute of being in bed before i start the 7-3 shifts again... uggg.

c

hmmm... interesting...

2006-04-25T01:13:00.000-06:00

i always wonder who makes up this junk... but its funny anyway... and sometimes pretty accurate... wierd.
Now i need to find me a Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, or Traveler Soul ;)

<
Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world
So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time
You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...
But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.
Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.
Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.
Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

You Are a Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons

2006-04-18T19:18:00.000-06:00

have you ever got to that place in your life where you just don't have words?? or if you start using you words you'll just never stop? i'm sorry my dearest Rochelle for not writing. but somebody somewhere wrote it better in a song than i could ever say.

"Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened"

BURNT NORTON (No. 1 of 'Four Quartets')
T.S. Eliot

I'm done.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

How about love? Measure in love
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned,
Or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died.

If nothing else, watch this movie. ("RENT") it gives you a powerful reminder about how we use each one of the 525600 minutes we are granted a year.
Life changes so quickly in mere seconds, its astonishing to think in about the last 52559 minutes and what i've done with it.

SEASONS OF LOVE (Rent)

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And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
...
And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”
...
And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
T.S. Elliot

2006-04-12T17:59:00.000-06:00

Complicated

Uh-huh,
Life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is
'Cause life's like this
Uh-huh, uh-huh
That's the way it is

Chill out,
What you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see

I like you the way you are
When we're, driving in my car
And you're talking to me
One on one
But you become

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me

Tell me

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no, no

You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're something else
Where you are and
Where you sat, you see
You're making me
Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off all your preppy clothes
You know
You're not fooling anyone
When you become

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
Watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
Tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me

Tell me

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me
I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no, no...

Chill out,
What you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could let it be
You will see

Somebody else
'Round everyone else
You're watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me, to me

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

No, no

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it

MADE IT - Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir

2006-04-11T21:42:00.000-06:00

I'VE BEEN THROUGH MANY HARD TRIALS,
I COULDN'T EXPLAIN IT NO, AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY.
WHY I HAD TO GO THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN,
BUT PRAISE THE LORD TODAY THERE'S HEALING IN HIS NAME

I MADE IT (AND I'M SO THANKFUL) SO THANKFUL
(I NEVER COULD HAVE MADE IT)
I NEVER COULD HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR WITHOUT THE LORD.
I MADE IT (AND I'M SO THANKFUL)SO THANKFUL
(I NEVER COULD HAVE MADE IT)
I NEVER COULD HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR WITHOUT THE LORD

SO YOU'VE BEEN HURT, FEEL SO ABUSED,
TRIED TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS, AND STILL GET USED.
I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHY, SO MUCH PAIN.
BUT THANK THE LORD, THERE'S A BLESSING IN YOUR PAIN.
THE LORD WANTS YOU TO KNOW THERE'S HEALING IN HIS NAME

THROUGH SICKNESS (BY HIS STRIPES I'VE BEEN HEALED);
THROUGH SORROW (HE WAS MY COMFORT AND ALL MY STRENGTH);
THROUGH HEARTACHE (JESUS HEALED ALL OF MY PAIN);
DEPRESSION (NOW I CAN SING)

its been an interesting experience singing black gospel music - one i'd highly recommend to anybody. There's nothing quite like praising God at the top of your lungs ;)

the beauty of gospel music...

2006-04-10T16:58:00.000-06:00

BLESSING IN THE STORM

When I cannot hear the sparrow sing
And I cannot feel the melody
There's a secret place that's full of grace
There's a blessing in the storm,
Help me sing it
There's a blessing in the storm.

Verse 2:
When the sickness won't leave my body
And the pain just won't leave my soul
I get on my knees and say "Jesus please"
There's a blessing in the storm,
Help me sing it
There's a blessing in the storm.

Verse 3:
When I cannot seem to love again
And the raindrops won't ever end
If you just hold on
Those clouds will soon be gone
There's a blessing in the storm
Help me sing it
There's a blessing in the storm.

hold me now

2006-04-10T16:55:00.000-06:00

"Hold Me Now"

The spring of April is gone
The leaves have all turned brown
The children have all grown up
And there's no one around
I'm looking over my life and all the mistakes I made
And I'm afraid
Afraid
Somebody told me that You would wash all my sins
And cleanse me from the scars that are so deep within
So I'm calling to You
If you can hear me
I don't know how
I was wondering can you hold me now

You are the only one that's patient when I fall
Your angels come to save me every time I call
You don't laugh at me when I make mistakes and cry
You're not like man
You understand me
See people change one day
They don't like you the next they do
I wish that everyone could love me just like You
So here I am this sinful man peace won't allow

I was wondering can you hold me now
I was wondering can you hold me now

To every broken person that may hear this song
To every boy or girl that feels their smile is gone
I know exactly how it feels to lay in the bed at night
And cry
And cry
Don't you worry God is faithful and He cares
About the tears you drop and the pain you feel He there
When you are weak that's when he's strong
Even though you don't know how
God can and he will hold you now
God can and he will hold you now
God can and he will hold you now
Don't you worry he can hold you now

2006-04-10T15:50:00.000-06:00

The h(ro)omies

2006-04-08T08:29:00.000-06:00

Yo'... homies... a great year :)

so much for my happy ending

2006-04-08T07:17:00.000-06:00

Wow, life is moving at rather a rapid pace. Finished school yesterday - FINALLY - seems like this semester has gone on forever. now for exams. yippee... After that maybe i'll just sleep for a whole week.
AJ and i have decided to move in together for the summer - we've found a place - but i think i'm going to check out a few other options today... regardless, our leases are up April 30, so i guess we'll be SOMEWHERE on May 1st. Its actually pretty exciting... i like moving into a new place and setting everything up. i just don't feel like moving 3 times in the next 8 months. And i'm sad to be loosing my roomies - shout out to Andrea, Mel, Karla and Kristie - i'll miss you guys, its been fun.

anyway - i'm going to go catch a shower...
life continues at max pace today.

PS: have you noticed an angry chick music vid trend? maybe i'm an angry chick. you should watch out!

MY HAPPY ENDING (Avril Lavigne)

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Oh, the tangled webs we weave When we practice to deceive.
Sir Walter Scott, "Marmion"
Scottish author & novelist (1771 - 1832)

'trippin'

2006-04-04T13:36:00.000-06:00

It has been an interesting week. Monday night, i went with Mel, Andrea, Shaun and J to watch "Lucky number sleven" - a freebee from work. It was really weird but the end was excellent. Unfortunately, Indy's car blew up that day, so he didn't come. Uggg... i hate car trouble. it blows.
Tuesday was a fun morning of running errands. I suckered Indy into coming with me (bwahhaha) so that was entertaining at least! If you haven't been into the new admin building on campus, you should really go and check out the latex inflatable display. it really is quite something.

Thursday was Mom's birthday. I had more freebee tickets, this time to "take the lead" - which was FANTASTIC. I picked up mom and dad after work and we went to the movie. Then AJ and i had organized to go past Tony Thomas so that she could see mom on her birthday and give her flowers. Mom was totally blindsided, since she thought going to see AJ was her idea... haha... we're SCHNEAKY!

J, Indy and i have been planning on going on a road trip since like Sept => originally it was meant to be Vancouver (ditchers) but 2 weeks ago i was inspired to go see the tunnels in Moose Jaw. So 8am on Sunday morning J picked up Indy and I, and we set off for "little Chicago". Naturally the day started with a stop for breakfast at McD's... here we see J caressing Indy's neck.. ah affection... Silly boys.

When we finally got to Moose jaw (after much tormenting from the two of them - WHY did i sign up for driving long distances with them??? You don't know either?) it was about 10:30. so we drove around and looked at the town for a while. Then we went for an early lunch, since the tunnels only open at 12. We went on the Chicago tour - it was excellent! really well done. We came out with the nicknames of gigit, doorstop and charlie... all booze-deprived bootleggers... (US? NEVER)

We decided that since we were in MJ, we should catch ALL the local attractions, so we headed over to the casino/ temple gardens spa. I lost then recovered than lost my $5 (it happens) and the boys played a bit before we went swimming :) GORGEOUS!
Indy managed to tell the same lady (on 2 diff occasions) that "sorry about her... she's not from here" - which was pretty hilarious considering we didn't notice that it was the same lady until she started laughing.... JERK!

Greg phoned to come and catch up with us on his way back to Briarcrest, so we visited with him for a while. Since we were in Moose Jaw, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to take pics with the giant moose - Indy and J seem somewhat impressed with its anatomy... haha... so much to be said at this point.

awww.. more cuddling... so sweet.

And the love goes on and on. I did draw the line at wedding dress shopping. lol. life is good when you have a pair of crazy boys around :)

Anyway - to round off our day, we went to go watch "Ice age - the meltdown" at Galaxy. Very cute.
Its amazing - we packed so much stuff into one little day that by the time we were leaving the city at 9:30, it felt like we had been there for days. The perfect holiday.

Ah ha. the "richard" wave. Really describes much of our drive home...

I'll be really disappointed if we don't get to go on another road trip - that would be a distinct plus for staying in 'toon for the summer - cos this one ROCKED!

anyway - i should REALLY be doing my very important paper right now.
So I'm going to SWITCH OFF my internet access and get going.

WISH ME WELL - ONLY 2 DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT :) :) :) YIPPPEEE! (and EEEEKK!! This paper has to be in on THURSDAY!!!!)

ciao.

Just walk away.

2006-04-04T12:28:00.000-06:00

I'm impressed: she manages to capture it all in one song. wow.

Walk Away Lyrics

You've got your mother and your brother, every other
Under cover telling you what to say
You think I'm stupid
But the truth is, that it's
CupidBaby, loving you has made me this way

So before you point your finger
Get your hands off of my trigger,oh yah
You need to know this situations getting old
And now the more you talk, the less I can say
I'm looking for attention
I don't know the question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standing here

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey
Just walk awayJust walk away,
Just walk away

I waited here for you like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never showed
I gave you everything and never asked for anything
And look at me, I'm all alone
So before you start defending, baby
Stop all your pretending
I know ,you know ,I know
So what's the point in being slow,
"Let's get this show on the road today"

Hey I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standing here
Hey,Hey, Hey, HeyJust walk away
Just walk away, Just Walk Away

I want a love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I want a man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you going to fight for me
Die for me
Live and breathe for me
Do you care for me
Cause if you don't then just leave

I'm looking for attention
I don't know the question
Should you stay or should you go
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standing here
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey
Just walk away
If you dont have the answer
Walk Away
Just Walk Away
Then Just Leave

oh yeah walk away walk away

Blessed are the cracked: For it is they who let in the light

2006-03-28T20:05:00.000-06:00

I own me. But my heavenly father made me and owns me more. so in some respects i'm just a caretaker of me??
wow - leave philosphy behind, i'm going back to grade two English.
ciao

if you accompany a friend... there is no detour too far - L Tolstoi

2006-03-25T03:52:00.000-06:00

life is easier than you think.
All you have to do is:
- accept the impossible
- do without the indespensible
- bear the intolerable
- and be able to smile at anything!

(good luck!)

i've been neck deep in history over the last week. I had to do a big autobiography project (don't even ask me how that's related to education - it gives me rage. ANYWAY) and so i've been digging out old old pics and some newer ones. all in all i'm feeling a little nostalgic (and very tired) so here are a few gems from my friendship book - as i was leaving for Canada. Its a cool book - you should ask me to check it out some day.
(they're a little soppy - year book stuff, but i decided to only put the good stuff here.)

"Love life. Love each moment, each person, each special thing that happens in your lifetime. Enjoy each moment."

"There's a miracle called friendship, which dwells withing the heart.
You don't know how it happends, or where it gets its start.
But you know the happiness that friendship always brings,
and you realize that friendship is God's most perfect gift."

What is a friend? It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself. - F. Crane

"Friendship is loving rather than being in love"

"Behind These Hazel Eyes"

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

walk away

2006-03-18T15:46:00.000-06:00

there's an awful lot of bootie shaking in this vid, but i like the song anyway.I'm really getting to like Kelly Clarkson actually... hazel eyes was brilliant, and i like the lyrics for this one too... i think the video sadly might in fact detract from the song... anyway.

to science unit plans and beyond. (YAY! ONLY 3 MORE WEEKS OF THIS SCHOOL CRAP! I'm PUMPED for summer. just wish i had any idea of what to do....eeek!)

have a gooder~!
Carie

WALK AWAY (Kelly Clarkson)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

you're missing me

2006-03-14T22:34:00.000-06:00

i know all you've got lately is song lyrics. for some reason (maybe cos i'm procrastinating and listening to a lot of music), i keep finding songs which just say it or capture the moment better than i ever could. so here we go again. i guess extropolation is your friend, cos i'm just too tired.

c

JACK JOHNSON - Bubble Toes Lyrics
It's as simple as something that nobody knows that her eyes are
as big as her bubbly toes
on the feet of a queen of the hearts of the cards and her feet
are all covered with tar balls and scars

It's as common as something that nobody knows that her beauty
will follow wherever she goes
up the hill in the back of her house in the would she love me
forever,
I know she could

I remember when you and me mmm how we used to be just good
friends
Wouldn't give me none
But all I wanted was some
She's got a whole lot of reasons
She cant think of a single one
That can justify leaving
and he got none but he thinks he got so many problems
Man he got, too much time to waste

His dreams are like commercials
But her dreams are picture perfect and
Our dreams are so related though they're often underestimated

It's as simple as something that nobody knows that
Her eyes are as big as her bubbly toes
On the feet of the queen of the hearts of the cards
And her feet are infested with tar balls and

La da da da da da

Well I was eating lunch at the D. L. G.
When this little girl came and she sat next to me
I never seen nobody move the way she did
Well she did and she does and she'll do it again

When you move like a jellyfish
Rhythm don't mean nothing
You go with the flow
You don't stop
Move like a jellyfish
Rhythm is nothing
You go with the flow
You don't stop

It's as common as something that nobody knows it
Her beauty will follow wherever she goes
Up the hill in the back of her house in the wood
She'll love me forever, I know she

If you would only listen
You might just realize what you're missing
You're missing me
If you would only listen
You might just realize what you're missing
You're missing me

I can speek English good too

2006-03-14T14:06:00.000-06:00

Ha. I feel vindicated. Today, i discovered something which justifies my whole way of speaking, AND should be of special interest to some of you from a couple summers ago... you know who you are... BEE- BAH is thus compleetely acceptable as an ambulance sound!!!

check this out:

as kids we were all told that trains go "Choo - choo" and cars go "beep beep".. but in other languages that might not be the case.

AAH - CHOO!
portuguese: ah - chim!
German: Hat-Chee!
Greek: Ap Tsou!
Japanese: Hakshon!
Italian: EkChee!

EENY-MEENY-MINY-MO
Arabic: Hadi Badi!
Italian: Ambaraba chichicoco
Japanese: Hee-foo-mee-yo
Swedish: Ol-uh dol-uh doff
Polish: Ele mele dudki!

HILARIOUS!

2006-03-14T00:03:00.000-06:00

Cory showed me this video prob a year ago, and i found it as hilarious then as i do now... especially considering our top secret dance - gym project... haha...
This guy is an Austrian interpretative mime artist (Johann Lippowitz) performing Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn". WOW>>> i'd LOVE to see him live!

ENJOY :)

As seen on Break.com

Walking On Sunshine

2006-03-10T22:44:00.000-06:00

Jump 5

I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I'm sure
And I just can’t wait ‘till the day when you knock on my door
Now everytime I go for the mailbox, gotta hold myself down
‘Cause I just can't wait ‘till you write me you're coming around

I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
And don’t it feel good!!

Hey, alright now
And don’t it feel good!!

I used to think maybe you loved me, now I know that it’s true
And I just can't spend my whole life just a waiting for you
I don’t want you back for the weekend
Not back for a day
'Cause baby I just want you back and I want you to stay

I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
And don’t it feel good!!

Hey, alright now
And don’t it feel good!!
wooo,
And don’t it feel good!!
(And don't it feel good!!)

I'm walking on sunshine
I'm walking on sunshine

I feel alive, I feel the love, do wop, do wop
I feel alive, I feel the love, do wop, do wop

I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
I’m walking on sunshine, wooah
I’m walking on sunshine, wooah wooah
And don’t it feel good!!
And don’t it feel good!!
And don't it feel good!!
And don't it feel good!!

Living life with arms wide open

2006-03-10T21:54:00.000-06:00

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

"Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Exciting week

2006-03-08T19:09:00.000-06:00

it has been a very fun week - lots of playing, not a lot of sleeping and lots of good times. I've had the opportunity to work out at Allen all week, and its been a blast! I'm really going to miss them next week. Who knew that i'd actually like grade 2/3?? The last time i taught that age group was when i was 13. I also got my new glasses today... they're a very weird choice for me - way more funky than i was planning, but i really like them :) Not that i figure i'll be wearing them too much in public, you'll have to be extra special to see them for real. (no prob there - mel already is!)
BUT its going to be a SUPER long week - i finish off here on friday, then i have first aid/ CPR C all day sat and sunday, and a crap load of homework to catch up on for monday. EEK. guess i should stop blogging and start doing homework huh?

anyway -
lovies.
C

PS: the sheaf issue is going to the human rights commission - a little overboard?? I think so. I mean, ok - offended... but really?

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??

2006-02-28T20:38:00.000-06:00

This is one of those "get to know me" forwards which are actually quite fun to do, but i'm too lazy to send out to everybody. So if you want to play along: Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the x from The ones you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me). WOW.... Just getting to know yourself. Pass this on to all Your friends and back to me, also.
This is for your entire life:

( ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
(x) Been in love
( ) Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
(X) Been fired
( ) Been in a fist fight
(X) Snuck out of your parent's house
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Lied to a friend
(x) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(X) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire?
(x) Eaten sushi
( ) Been skiing
( ) Met someone from the Internet
(x) Been at a concert
(x) Taken painkillers
(x) Love someone right now
(x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) Made a snow angel
(x) Had a tea party
(x) Flown a kite
(x) Built a sand castle
(x) Gone puddle jumping
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) Gone sledding
(x) Cheated while playing a game.
(x) Been lonely
(x) Fallen asleep at work/school
( )Used a fake ID
(x) Watched the sun set
(X) Felt an earthquake
(X) Slept beneath the stars
(x) Been tickled
(x) Been robbed
(x) Been misunderstood
(x) Petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo OR jackalope
( ) Won a contest
(x) Run a red light/stop sign
( ) Been suspended from school
(X) Been in a car crash (minor)
( ) Had braces
(x) Felt like an outcast/third person
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) Had deja vu
(x) Danced in the moonlight
(x) Liked the way you looked
(X) Witnessed a crime
(X) Questioned your heart
(X) Been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) Squished mud through your bare feet
(x) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't-
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(X) Made a bonfire on the beach
(x) Crashed a party
(x) Gone roller-skating
(x) Had a wish come true
(x) jumped off a bridge

1. What time is it? 8:26pm
2. What is your name? carie diane
3. Any nicknames? Care-bear or hugbug once upon a time
4. Mothers name? Diane
5. What is your favorite drink? Tea or smirnoff raspberry
6. Tattoos? none as yet
7. Body piercing? 5
8. How much do you love your job? (on a scale of 1-19) Um...about 17... i love the work... not a big fan of the pay scale...
9. Birthplace? Pietermaritzburg
10. Favorite vacation spot? BC - Sunshine Coast :) :)
11. Ever been to Africa? ummm. yes.
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? me? NO! I'm an angel!
13. A, B, C, D, DD cup size? haha... if i told you...
14. 2 Door or 4 Door? 2 - i love my Jamima... but 4 doors would def help
15. Salad dressing? Swings between 1000 island and raspberry vinegarette
16. Favorite pie? apple
17. Favorite number? 2
18. Favorite movie? wow... tough one. 10 things i hate about you? Moulin Rouge? i don't know!!!
19. Favorite holiday? may long
20. Favorite food? Cheesecake and chinese (not together)
21. Favorite day of the week? Friday
22. Favorite brand of body soap? ummm... whatever? I like the fruity smelling ones?
23. Favorite TV show? prob simpsons and CSI - i don't really watch TV much.
24. Favorite smell? rain
25. What do you do to relax? read and Sleep
26. How do you see yourself in 10 years? hopefully married with some sort of career, having traveled the world and done wildly exciting things!
27. What do you do when you are bored? surf the net, blog
28. What do you enjoy receiving? post! and surprise visits (yes- the bonfire was fun! i'll admit)
29. Furthest place you will send this message: from here? its between SA and Aus, mostly i'm just blogging it, so whoever reads it i guess.
30. Who will respond the fastest? nobody! only geeks respond! :)
31. Least likely to respond? well... as i said...
32. What time is it now? 8:36 pm

Distracted from distraction by distraction, Filled with fancies and empty of meaning

2006-02-27T13:20:00.000-06:00

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
Thus, in your mind.

...

Time past and time future
Allow but a little consciousness.
To be conscious is not to be in time
But only in time can the moment in the rose-garden,
The moment in the arbour where the rain beat,
The moment in the draughty church at smokefall
Be remembered; involved with past and future.
Only through time time is conquered.

BUIRNT NORTON
(No. 1 of 'Four Quartets')
T.S. Eliot

Quotes of life

2006-02-26T16:50:00.000-06:00

urg! I'm so distracted. i can't concentrate, and i'm having a hard time doing the 4 very big assignments i've put off this whole weekend, and that are due in the next 3 days.
so, i'm going to write down all the funny quotes on my whiteboard instead. They're all little snippets of the maddness that is my house!

"Tee hee"
"Andrea is GORGEOUS!"
"Tw'ass!"
"It's a perfect little triangle we have"
"karla is a killer of babies"
"indy is HUGE"
"That was VERY accidental"
"if i turn South African from this..."

later
C

"that's it... being alive. Living every moment. That's the real treasure." Philosophy from "Without a paddle"

2006-02-26T15:48:00.000-06:00

AN AWESOME WEEK

2006-02-20T22:46:00.000-06:00

its about time i got around to blogging! I've really had some good intentions, but i couldn't get photobucket to co-operate for the last couple of days, so short of throwing things around, i decided simply to walk away. that's right. be the bigger (wo)man.
ANYWAY - i promised a play by play with pics of my trip. This is why i love blogging. Nobody else really cares except me, and maybe you if you're reading this :) The biggest dilema for me is going to be figuring out which of my millions of pics to post here!

Tuesday was Valentines day, and being a group of single girls, we decided to celebrate in the most girly way possible - snowboarding followed by an evening of action movies with pizza and beer. I was too scared to take my daddy's camera up on the hill (good thing too... i did 2 really impressive and highly impactful (is that a word?) cartwheels (accidently) on the hill. The crazy thing is that it was like 2 degrees up in the mountains and there was not the tiniest sign of snow at Marlene's house, 5 minutes away. needless to say, there wasn't much powder, but it was AWESOME!! We even ran into Nate up on the hill - small world AGAIN! Unfortunately, we missed him somehow, so i'm just going to go back to NVan sometime i guess. Ahh, the sacrifices i'm willing to make :) This is my lift ticket - just to prove i was really there - i REALY wish i had the skill to get that sort of air, let alone co-ordinate 2 pieces of wood stuck to my feet ;) It was so weird to be going all afternoon in my shirt and spring coat - i think we should have winters like that in SK!

On wednesday i bribed Vangie to come with me to Gibsons - one of the most beautiful places in the entire world! These pics are from the ferry from Horseshoe bay. Man i could live my whole life there and be entirely happy! Isn't the snow-cover mountain touching ocean thing incredible!(yes, that's a happy expression. contrary to all popular oppinion, i am NOT stoned every time somebody takes a pic of me. that expression just happens!)
I went rather snappy happy at this point, but maybe i'll move on! These pics are of us looking over at Keats - you can see the long dock leading up the island - uggg, try running up that and then some very big hills to get to the main part of camp - makes me tired thinking about it. BEST place in the world for dock jumping at the right tide... my poor jeans went in there about 3 times! lol.
The expanse of water between where i am standing and keats is the closest place for us to come pick up groceries, etc - so we buy everything in Vancouver or Gibsons and boat it over to the island on a big barge or the "speed" boats... actually - not that speedy ;) Marlene and Corlea were nice enough to come pick us up in Horseshoe bay after Vangie and i wandered around the coastline all afternoon. They took us for supper at a sushi place - YUMMY!!!!!!!!! it was really good, but we were all feeling pretty sick. SOMEBODY neglected to tell us that we had to pay for the food that we didn't eat, adn we had a little ordering issue - ie: too much food, not enough space! But it was a really fun mean. we even had private entertainment by our own personal walruses. Very nice ones. but slightly crazy! How i miss them!!

Thursday was a nice quiet day. we hiked up to Cleaver dam, and stopped to look at the Salmon hatchery - pretty cool. Just gorgeous hiking thru the forrest. Another "i wish i had my camera here" moment. But never the less. i took mental pics. (as if that makes up for it!) The rest of the day i mostly hung out and msn'd.. Met Bradly Steyn for supper at Whitespot - ok, i take back "SMALL WORLD" - insert "TINY WORLD". its insane. We had a great time together, and i'm fully convinced that i REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go back to Keats this summer. i HAVE to figure out a way to make it work. Ugg. i wish life weren't so complicated! Marlene and i went out for coffee- which was fantastic - had a chance to catch up a little, and then hung out and chatted/watched tv/finished off Vangie's raspberry "juice". mmmm. prob explained why we both looked a little like this at 7 when we got up to catch the sea bus to surrey...
The trip home was pretty unevenful, albeit VERY long and gorgeous- like this place in Hell's Canyon. we left langley at about 10, hit Hindley at about 9:30 and stopped. It was a little bit of a sketchy motel, but at least it wasn't the saloon place next door. We ended up leaving the next morning (saturday)at about 8, to get to Ed in time for a little shopping and lunch. We were hoping ot catch up with friends, but it just didn't work out. we continued on our merry way, hitting edam at 6:15 for supper at Cindy's house. Finally home sweet home at 10.
Naturally, i wasn't home for long - went over to Indy's to watch "muskateer" with him and J. They took mean pics, but i could tell that they were happy to see me (even if it was just to torment me!) It was good to be home, even though i'd rather have stayed in Vancouver - maybe just transport people THERE... seems reasonable to me! YUCK! i hate goodbyes. but thank goodness for the ease of traveling 2000 miles in 1 day. pretty mindblowing when you compare it to the 3 yr treks of our ancestors.

Anyway - didn't get too much sleep this weekend, and i have to go to Allen early tomorrow morning so i should go get into my nice bed!

so much for ice-skating huh?

2006-02-16T17:05:00.000-06:00

REGINA:
-30°C
Partly cloudy. Ice crystals.
FEELS LIKE -46°C
WIND NW 30 km/h
GUSTS
RELATIVE HUMIDITY 61%
DEWPOINT -35°C
PRESSURE 104.58 kPa
VISIBILITY 8.0 km
CEILING 25000 ft

i'm sorry 'Tooners... its REALLY nice here... went for a little hike today... :)

VANCOUVER:

7°C
A few clouds
WIND W 4 km/h
GUSTS
RELATIVE HUMIDITY 22%
DEWPOINT -13°C
PRESSURE 102.67 kPa
VISIBILITY 48 km
CEILING unlimited

COOOOLD

2006-02-16T02:35:00.000-06:00

baha... its FREEZING in Saskatoon, and only 2 here... hehe!!!!!!!! I'm loving this place. (not looking forward to rejoining the frozen waste land...)Went to the Sunshine coast today with Vangie -we had a really good day, checked out the sights and took lots of pics... i'll put them all up soon, along with the snowboarding pics from yesterday.

Vancouver is BEAUTIFUL!

2006-02-15T11:20:00.000-06:00

We are having so much fun in BC! I like this place so much! We arrived Sat night late, and stayed over at Katie's in Langley. On Sunday, we went to her church (Langley Community church) which is a very cute MB church. We went out afterwards to BP's for my favourite Chicken Sante Fe Stromboli! mmmm! After shoping around and hanging out all afternoon, Katie was gracious enough to drop me off in Surrey at the Sky train station, so i landed up at GM Place with Marlene, Corlea, Amanda and Hugo!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!

These are pictures from Monday, when Corlea was nice enought to take me on a hike through Lynn Canyon. Its GORGEOUS! We had a really great time together - poor Marlene was stuck writing a bio exam. This pic of Corlea and Pipi is in front of a gorgeous little waterfall, right by a big suspension bridge. Note the GREEN and RUNNING WATER in FEBRUARY! Its a little out of focus, but i like it anyway!

This is me jumping off a big rock. i don't know why but i like moss so very much. and i can feel like i'm flying when i'm just about to jump of said very big rock!!
WOW. This is off the suspension bridge. do i really need to say anything?
This scene reminded me of a picture postcard, or those pictures you find inside Bibles about living water! There is a couple miles of this rocky river, and apparently Marlene & co swim there during the summers. I'd imagine the water is still pretty chilly... haha.
Unfortunately, this pic is a little dark, and i though i was going to be all artistic and stuff... but if you look carefully, you can see Corlea half way up this ENORMOUS staircase. Its the beauty of living in NVan - everything is on a hill!

Anyway, i'm going to go hunt down some breakfast. I don't know what inspired me to be so faithful to blogger at 9:15am...

later.
c

happy day!

2006-02-12T20:44:00.000-06:00

YAY! i'm in Vancouver!
AND ITS NOT RAINING!
AND I GET TO SEE MARLENE IN 2 HOURS!

what a good week!

bring on the exclamation marks.
peace,
Carie

BLOG TAG (like blob tag.. get it??)

2006-02-10T01:52:00.000-06:00

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:
Janny's Blog
Le marriage de la fille Lipskey
Life of Turner
Apatheology
Cariecatures of life

Next select five people to tag:
Rochelle, Marlene, Beth, Shannon and Debs

What were you doing 10 years ago?
February 1996 I was entering my first year of grade 9 at Carter High school. Grade 9 was a very fun year!

What were you doing 1 year ago?
hrrmm.. working at the dub, McNab and C&C. Wow.. life has changed. We were selling our house, i was looking for somewhere to move to.. yay!I had just applied to education, and i was worrying about what i was going to do for the summer... Actually i believe i had just come back from Fernie (ski trip) and was anticipating our 5 year canadian anniversary.

Five snacks you enjoy:
mmm.. sour candy
chocolate
ketchup chips
Coke
crackers and cheese

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
The moulin Rouge Elephant scene
Pretty much all Roxette songs
All for love - Bryan Adams

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
pay of my debts
my parent's debts
buy a house
give money to my sis
and send the rest to family overseas.

Five bad habits:
impatience
sleeping or not sleeping (i overdo i both ways)
wasting time on the internet (haha)
watching tv instead of exercizing

Five things you like doing:
Sleeping
driving my car
playing outside with kids
skating
hanging with buddies

Five things you would never wear again:
my pink frilly dress
i don't know... big bows in my hair

Five favourite toys:
my computer & new drive thingie (thanks evan)
my cell
my maggie (maglight)
my car - Jamima, there's nothing like you!

SO!!!!!!!!!!! Spring break plans just got GREAT again! I'm going to Vancouver on Friday with Cindy, Mike and Vangie. YIPPEE YIPEE YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

later bros
carie

SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-09T12:45:00.000-06:00

So after another busy night trying to write my stupid literacy research project, i eventually got a sketchy version done at 3am, at which point i said "i quit" and went to bed. I proceeded to hand in said sketchy copy this morning, wrote another essay which i will hand in in 7 minutes and am THOROUGHLY ready for the break. I'm pretty sad since the Vancouver plan fell through, i was pretty pumped about that. Ah well, such is life. maybe i'll just stay in bed all of next week. (what a great thought!)

We had a pretty interesting week last week. i forgot/ got too busy to blog about it, but some guy tried to shoot his wife and kid and then held a gun to his head. He happened to be parked right outside my house, so all the police in Saskatoon (or so it seemed) showed up at about 12:30am to come and deal with it. Melanie and Andrea came down stiars and woke me up... pretty exciting stuff for the middle of the night. I was goign to hang around to see the resolution of it all, but i was so tired that i just went ot bed. It was prob for the best, since they were STILL at a standoff at 7:30 when i went to drive out ot school. They weren't very happy about letting us out - one police guy actually told Mel that she should be inside. But hey, when you've gotta work, yo've gotta work.
As far as i know it all resolved peacefully and now he's on trial for 2 attempted murders. pretty excitgn stuff....

anyway - my multicultures (AKA argument for an hour and a half) class starts right away, so i should run.

later!
Carie

stuff

2006-02-08T12:39:00.000-06:00

so i realize that there has been a distictive lack of bloggerage in the last month since Christmas. I had really good intentions - i promise. Life just got a little crazy. i am SOOO looking forward to this spring break!
Ugg, i hate it where you get to a point in your life where you're just looking far enough ahead to know when you can take your next nap or have a weekend to catch up on all your work...
Don't worry - i'm not yet crazy, and relief is imminent, but i've got to the point where i'd rather just stay home by myself (and whoever happens to be a home or show up at my door) than seek entertainment or social engagement of any kind. I'm just to tired to care.

Rochelle and Marlene and Jill ... i love you guys to bits, and you've been on my list of people to email or call for AGES! i miss you so much.

Well, i should go. i definately did not get my paper finished last night, and i'm really wasting the next 5 minutes before i have to go do my PE lesson. At least its out of the way now. But i hope my fellow student teachers don't decide to do anything particularily strenuous with our arms.... i still hurt from doing weights last night with anna... ouch. i'm a baby i know. but it huuuuuuuurts!

anyways, if you're an attendee of EBC, be sure to check out the survey adn the comments, pretty interesting stuff.

Here is a link to the survey:
>

just do it!

cheerio...
c

2006-02-05T04:54:00.000-06:00

I think most people know my general dislike for anything country by now, but this song was pretty appropriate, and as it was dedicated to our house, i figured i should put it up here... (pretty funny coming from the guy who watches movies at my house at 3am and orders pizza after midnight...!) NOT that there's any dreaming happening, but i SHOULD BE SLEEPING! (its 5:01am!!!)

anyway - i'll get around to blogging again SOMEDAY soon... uggg! how time flies.
c.

I SHOULD BE SLEEPING (Emerson Drive)

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Should Be Sleeping Lyrics
by Emerson Drive

I never knew there were such great movies
On TV at 3AM
I never guessed that at midnight Tuesday
I could have pizza ordered in
I never been a real night owl
But these days I'm all turned 'round
There's only one thing I'm sure of right now

[chorus]
I should be sleepin'
Instead of keepin' these late hours
I've been keepin'
I've been pacing and retracing
Every step of every move
And even though I'm feelin' so right
I'm so happy still I know
I should be sleepin'
Instead of dreamin' about you

I never knew that I was funny and
Til I went and made you laugh
Never like a girl to call me honey
But you did and I like that
I keep thinkin' about your smile
Tryin' to read between the lines
Looks like I'll be up for awhile

[chorus]

How could just three dates
One great kiss

It's way too soon
To be obsesssing like this

[chorus]

Dreamin' about you
I should be sleepin'

head over feet

2006-01-22T13:02:00.000-06:00

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

(repeat chorus)

OK: magic question... where's my bf with benifits?? Huh? Whereever you are, its time to come out of the woodwork! Anytime now!!!!!! hehe

Exploring the inner landscape

2006-01-15T17:29:00.000-06:00

hmm, i was reading an interesting section of a book called "The courage to teach" - obviously a uni prescribed reading for my Psych class. What Parker Palmer says is that we so thoroughly separate inner truth from outer actions that we have lost touch with ourselves. i feel that blogging is that relief of "talking to myself". Palmer says that "we need to find every possible way to listen to that voice and take its counsel seriously, not only for the sake of our work but for the sake of our own health as well. If someone in the outer world is trying to tell us something important and we ignore his or her presence, the person either gives up and stops speaking or becomes more and more violent in attempting to get our attention." (32) I think that blogging has that power in my life - and its a good reason why i feel more happy when i do some self examination.
SO: no more viewing blogging as a waste of time, but rather as important self analysis to keep me sane!!

with all that deep thinking about blogging, i have now run out of time to actually do any blogging before i am late for church.
so till later!
carie

icy white

2006-01-05T12:45:00.000-06:00

this is a direct cut-and-paste job from Jordan K's blog, but he expressed exactly what i feel way more poetically than i can manage. So please forgive me jordan, this is in some way a homily to you!

"I've never seen beauty like Saskatoon these last few days. It's not even foggy like the movies, it's like some of the weather from heaven drifted downward to us. The whole city's in hiding, hidden just out of sight, behind traffic lights and snow drifts and fog. Horefrost and red cloudy night skies have been creepily guiding me home for days now and I know that as soon as I begin to trust their direction, the snow will melt, or clear up, and I'll be reminded that just out of sight, stand ugly buildings made by ugly men. And behind those ugly buildings lie uglier buildings made by uglier men, who lie awake at night and puff up with pride at what a feat they've accomplished. But behind the building those buildings are behind, lie streets of gravel and wheat. Populated only by birds, and rabbits, and gophers, and farmers, and real night sky. Where stars constelate and sleep in clusters for the treetops to see. Where trees congregate and I wish I could be."

I owe, i owe, its off to work i go.. lala la la la...

2006-01-04T23:16:00.000-06:00

Wow - its the 4th of January already. Where has time gone? Its that miserable time of year when you once again have to say goodbye to numerous old friends, and return to the strangeness of school and catching up with all the people who you superficially spend more time with than those you're actually committed to. Don't get me wrong - being back at school is fun (sort of) - i'm just not sure i'm QUITE ready for it yet. It REALLY felt like i was working hard this morning to even play the game 2 truths and a lie. I swear, my brain was actually hurting. Its scary. Last semester already feels like years ago. I guess it WAS last year - but really.

The last bit of christmas was really fun. My Canadian family came up from Melfort for Christmas on the 28th-30th, and Nix had a really good time hanging with them. All the cousins went to go watch Narnia on the afternoon of the 29th, but it was all sold out, so we went to watch "Dreamer" instead. Its a predicatably cute horse movie, but i'll admit it, my heart was there... hehe.

The 30th was Dad's b-day, so AJ and i went to go get the cake (isn't it beautiful?) He looks a little terrified here, but i think he's just afraid the camera's gonna steal his soul. Its like having a fear of Tokoloshes. Just cos you don't believe in them doesn't mean they don't live under your bed. We also gave him a great little floaty drink tray thingie for the hot tub with checkers on the back. it was awesomes.

To end the evening off we went skating - which was really fun for them, but i had SUCKY skates that i couldn't even skate around the rink on, so i had way more fun when Karla, Nix, Indy, Greg and i went on Tuesday,and i could actually skate. We had a FANTASTIC time (apart from certain unnamed boys who kept snowballing us (the innocent girls)). Hehe... best winter's night so far! (New Year's was pretty good too, with Yuriko & Erik's wedding - wow : Another married couple!! I'm OLLLLDDDD!, hanging with Mike, Sarah, Karla & Kristie, board games, movies, all nighters and McDonalds.)

So to sum it all up: Fun holiday, doing random things, watching many movies, staying up WAY to late every night.
Now to recover and actually WANT to get back to work??? BAH!

CHRISTMAS!

2005-12-28T00:15:00.000-06:00

Wow, after my last little flurry of blogging, i took a whole 8 day holiday! we've had a really great christmas break, with lots and lots of family time. As you can see by the super amused expressions on dad and grandpa, wrapping and ribboning may have gone a little far... hehe.

We got to got the enchanted forrest, which, although is just a drive around a park, is really beautiful. Granny's enjoyment of the whole thing made it well worth the effort.

GREIG AVENUE ROOMATE CHRISTMAS... maybe i'll just let the pics speak for themselves...
Kristie
Andrea
Melanie
Erin

TIMM FAMILY CHRISTMAS: wow. i've spent a LOT of time at home in the last week! Its actually been really nice. really just cool to relax and enjoy each other's company. The relatives all arrive tomorrow, so i'm sure fun and games will follow with 10 people living in my parent's house. i'm glad i'm at MY house!
Mom was all over the practical gifts this year, so AJ and i each got a bottle of vitamins! Hehe. well, at least we'll be healthy!

My sister and i decided on pics of the 2 of us for my parents - have to say, they turned out pretty nicely. The parents and grandparents will all pretty chuffed, so i think we win!
mmmmm... christmas dinner! AND we get it again tomorrow! GOOD TIMES :)

wow

2005-12-20T01:15:00.000-06:00

try doing this:

how to never get drunk

Mr Brightside.

2005-12-19T03:31:00.000-06:00

Wow, I'm definitely in a blogging mood tonight... 3 posts in 4 hours.
This is one of my favourite songs of 2005. I'm not even really sure why i like it so much. I REALLY liked it once i saw the music video. I'm sorry its a little, um, sketchy for my sensitive readers, but i LOVE it. Its like the whole of Moulin Rouge in under 5 minutes. (QUICK COMMENTARY: I used to HATE MR and then i watched it about 12 times in 3 weeks - thats what getting stuck at camp for 2 weeks by yourself will do (for more background on this weird reflective period of my life, feel free to track down other posts from Sept 2004 or see the one below...). But the moral of the story is familiarity breeds addiction!))
PS: if i was an English major, maybe i'd read into the title and connect MR with MoulinRouge... huh, huh, huh???

MR. BRIGHTSIDE (The Killers)

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home

2005-12-19T02:47:00.000-06:00

do you ever drive and imagine home, except you imagine the wrong place? Sometimes when i try to think about the house i lived in before this one, all i can imagine is my home on collins rd in PMB. I don't know why - it happens esp. when i've been on a road trip somewhere and i'm coming back into toon town. But its happened a couple of times, and its kinda freaky. maybe i'm just weird. i think i need to get my head checked out someday.
ANYWAYS - point of this all is that i've been feeling pretty homesick (really more nostalgic than homesick) for PMB, so i was looking up all sorts of crazy things on the internet.
SINCE i love flags, stamps, shields, crescents, etc..., here is the Pietermaritzburg crescent:

PIETERMARITZBURG / UMGUNGUNDLOVU
Motto: Umgungunhlovu.

THERE WE ARE: PIETERMARITZBURG. (TRY SAYING THAT FAST 3 TIMES). I HAD A WHOLE LONG THING ABOUT PMB, ITS HISTORY, ETC, ETC, BUT IT WAS BORING ME HALF TO DEATH, SO I FIGURED NOBODY ELSE WOULD WANT TO READ IT... BUT WITH ALL THAT FACINATING HISTORY UNDER MY BELT, I THINK ITS JUST ABOUT TIME FOR BED (yawn).